Page 56 of Sparks
Waking up with no good morning text from Shawn made the raw emotions rise up all over again. My eyes were still puffy from last night. One thought had cycled in my mind over and over: what if they stayed together? Should I be fighting for him?
No. I shook my head as I stood heavily and padded to the bathroom to shower.
I knew myself. I would never be able to have a healthy relationship with Shawn if I felt like I’d sabotaged his previous engagement. When it came right down to it, Shawn would have to let her go and choose me of his own accord in order for things to sit right with me. And if he chose her, then we weren’t meant to be. I would survive.
But as I put my face under the hot shower water, my chest constricted with brokenness. Why did I feel so strongly for a man I’d known such a short time? We’d never even kissed! I took deep breaths to calm myself. The situation was out of my hands now. Only time would tell.
The day dragged, and bad vibes seemed to emanate from far too many people. I nearly collapsed that night as I wheeled my suitcase into the Newark crew room. As bedraggled and grumpy as I felt, my spirits lifted when I heard my name shouted and looked over to see a table of familiar, smiling faces. Holly, Beth, Silas, copilot Lee, and the male flight attendant Bryant.
I sat in the open chair and felt like I weighed a thousand pounds. Bryant made a face at me. “Rough day?”
“Yeah,” was all I said. I pulled out my drooping bun and ran my fingers through my hair before pulling it back in a simple ponytail. I felt Silas watching me, so I gave him a reassuring smile to let him know I was okay.
“What’s going on?” Holly asked, eyeing me.
When I looked up, everyone was watching. I guess I wasn’t good at hiding my feelings, so I may as well spill.
“I broke things off with Shawn while he figures things out.”
Everyone nodded except Beth.
“Why?” she asked. “You should have just given him an ultimatum.”
“No.” I shook my head.
“Ultimatums are harsh, don’t you think?” Bryant asked. “And sometimes they backfire.”
“They force men to act,” Beth explained. “Most men are happy to have their cake and eat it too if a woman doesn’t put her foot down.”
“Have you ever given an ultimatum?” Bryant asked her.
Beth gave her best impish smile. “Hell no. I’m not a saint like Harlow. I don’t want a relationship.”
“That’s right, ho.” Bryant grinned and fist-bumped her.
“I think he’ll deal with it when he gets back home,” I said. “Next week.”
“You’re doing the right thing,” Silas told me. “He’s being wishy-washy.”
I wanted to get the attention off me. “Aren’t you off tomorrow?” I asked Silas. “Why didn’t you fly home?”
His eyes widened a fraction in a look of panic and he brought a large hand up to stroke his head. “Um, I was just running kind of late, so I’ll grab the first flight out in the morning.”
The entire table stared at him in disbelief. First of all, he was a horrible liar. His inflection turned super weird and unnatural. Silas was never late and always tried to get home to Jacquie as soon as possible.
“Okay,” Bryant said, “And the real reason?”
Silas rubbed his face. My stomach twisted wondering what was wrong.
“Oh, my God,” Beth blurted, her eyes lively. “Are you guys fighting?”
“Beth,” I whispered, but she ignored me.
Silas let his hands fall to the table and exhaled. I felt nervous for him.
“Every couple has their disagreements.” Silas pressed his lips together as if he regretted speaking.
“Does this have anything to do with her most recent post?” Lee asked.
