Page 88 of Sparks
He cut a bite of his ribeye and watched me through those hooded dark eyes as he took the bite and chewed slowly. I watched his jaw move. I watched the cleft in his chin. I watched his Adam’s Apple as he swallowed. “What are you looking at?”
“Nothing.” Damn it. I took a huge bite and tried to smile. “Mm.” I shoved another bite in before the other bite was even finished. Silas glowered at me. When I finally swallowed I said, “And what are you even talking about. You chose steamed broccoli over a baked potato. Freak.”
“I love broccoli.” He shoved a giant spear into his mouth.
“I mean, I do too, but not in place of a baked potato.” I made sure to get a bite of wonton with a piece of chicken and a mandarin orange. Yum.
“When I close my eyes at night,” Silas said. “I can still feel myself inside you.”
I choked. Like, wonton down the windpipe, full on choking. He started to stand but I held a hand up and allowed myself to have a horrifying coughing fit. He held out the water and I batted his hand away, not caring when it sloshed over onto the table. I finally got my breath, but I sounded like a century-long smoker when I said, “Don’t say that!”
“Sorry.” He cleared his throat.
I reached for the water and took a big drink. “You’re not acting very vanilla.”
“Those are the sprinkles you’re tasting.”
Oh, my God. I sucked in a drop of water and started coughing all over again, covering my mouth and waving my other hand to tell him I was okay. And then I started laughing, and Silas began to chuckle too.
“I mean it, though,” Silas said. He put his elbows on the table and leveled me with those eyes.
“Stop,” I warned him, losing my smile as the force of his stare fell over me, warming its way straight down to my core as I remembered the feel of him behind me. “I can’t think about that.”
He licked his lips and looked down at his plate, which I just realized he’d polished off completely already. He sat back and crossed his arms. “Will you tell me what happened with the jarhead?”
A pang hit me in the sternum and I pushed my salad away. “Okay.” I told him almost everything. I didn’t mention the passion pit or what we’d done, but it was probably implied when I told him Shawn came to the apartment and fixed the sink, then stayed the night.
“I told you I would fix that. You should have let me.”
“Silas, you’re a slam-clicker. We’ve never been able to get you to hang out. And if it makes you feel any better, he wasn’t able to fix the tiles so that little project is all yours.”
He pursed his lips.
It was my turn to jab at him. “What was it like to be in the passion pit with Beth?”
“Is that what you call that creepy little room? I was in a bad place to let her pull me in there.” He finished off his beer. “What happened next? After he went back home?”
“Before he arrived, his fiancé called me.”
“Shit.” He sat back again, and I continued, telling him everything. I got choked up when I came to the part where Shawn called me and told me what was happening.
“So, yeah.” I wiped underneath my burning eyes and sniffed, blinking away the moisture. “But he’s not married yet. They’re so up and down, you know? I can’t help but think…” I cleared my throat and picked up my napkin to wipe my mouth, not meeting his eyes. Regret roiled in my gut. Silas tilted his head, and I wished I could take back those pathetic words.
“You’re still going after him?”
“No. I just mean, there’s still a tiny chance that the situation could change.” I shrugged.
“Harlow.” His voice razed over me, filling me with shame at what I’d admitted.
The waitress came up and I gave my flight attendant smile. “Separate checks please.”
“Would you like a box?” She pointed at my barely-eaten salad and I felt bad for being so wasteful.
“No, thank you.” When she walked away I forced my eyes back to Silas, who was glowering at me again. “What? I’m not hungry; I can’t help it.”
“He doesn’t deserve you. He’s been leading you on this whole time, keeping you as his back-up plan.”
“No.” I shook my head, not believing that at all. “He’s not like that. There’s a real connection there. I don’t think he was ever expecting his fiancé to actually want to get married and move. He really thought they were over.”
