Page 90 of Longing for Liberty
But holy shit. This was the president’s office. On the wall was a map of the old United States, but areas had been blacked out, and the remaining part was divided into the five communities. My eyes gobbled up the sight of it. They didn’t even bother to include Alaska and Hawaii anymore. And it looked like southern, coastal Virginia was now the highest point on the East Coast. Everything above that on the coast was either gone or uninhabitable. Or they were using it for something else. Anything was possible. As for the entire West Coast? All blacked out.
Amos went straight to the computer and sat. Before they could even begin conversing, Roan’s heated hand firmly wrapped around my wrist and led me out, closing the door.
“We’ll wait in the study,” he said. My eyes bore into Amos, who was so intent on the computer that he didn’t even seem to notice me being pulled out.
Immediately, my heart went erratic as Roan drew me into a darkened room that appeared to be a library of sorts with two oversized brown leather wingback chairs. I wondered what sort of books these were, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off of Roan as he closed the door and turned to me, putting his hands in his pockets and studying me.
No, no, no. This was the last person on Earth I wanted to be alone with.
I dropped my eyes and clasped my hands. What was he doing? I watched his feet casually stroll across the room and stop, his back to me. My eyes raised enough to watch him pull the spine of a colorful paperback down from a shelf. Something about the colors raised my awareness. With his back still to me, the sound of pages flipped.
When Roan began to read aloud, my entire body went cold and stiff with fright.
“Colossus had never been more handsome to me than he was at that moment, long hair matted from riding, armor covered in blood from battle. But it was the look in his eyes—the look that said he’d done it all for me, and he’d do it again if he must. I?—”
“Stop! Please…”I covered my mouth, shocked that the words had escaped me. He turned on his heel and arched a brow, gazing at me, almost amused. “Sir, I…” I covered my mouth again as another shockwave tore through me.
Roan was reading from one of my books. We’d been told all of the banned books were wiped from systems and burned. To hear the words I’d written in another lifetime, while chasing my dream, from his mouth, and to see my word-baby in his hands was beyond wrong.
“Please don’t read that,” I begged. “It’s…I’m so embarrassed.” A dry, pathetic laugh tumbled through my lips.
“Oh, I’ve read the entire thing.” He cocked his head at me, his eyes too wide. Oh, God. My insides churned as he set down my book and crossed his arms. “You are quite the surprise.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “No. I-I was young and silly when I wrote that. I can’t believe…” I covered my face. My books were filled with political intrigue. All kinds of crazy human-like creatures having relationships. So much rebellion. So many strong females.
Roan’s deep chuckle sounded close, and then he was gently prying my hands from my face. “It was eye-opening to be in your mind. To see your…fantasies.” He held my wrists, standing too close.
“It’s not like that, honestly.” I saw the look of fascination and lust in his eyes. I should have been used to it. In my line of work, people always assumed the sensuality I wrote about was either stuff I’d done or things I wanted to do. But I’d written about so many scandalous things that I had zero desire to do, and definitely never done. It was exhausting explaining to people that I just had a really good imagination and felt brave when I was writing.
“You have quite a way with words.”
My face felt beet red. “Just an overly active imagination when I didn’t know any better.”
“Do you still have these…imaginings?”
“No,” I said, not counting that one night of dreaming, which I had put to rest.
Roan was about the same height as me, but he was strong with muscle mass. He kept hold of my wrists as he lowered his face to my neck and gently placed his lips to my pulse point. I squeezed my eyes shut as he spoke against my skin.
“Your heartbeat is quick,” he murmured. It took all of my will not to pull away. “Are you afraid or excited, I wonder.”
When I didn’t answer or move, he went on.
“You could still write books for the State, if that’s what you want. I could make it happen.”
Oh, hell no.
He pulled back enough to look at me expectantly.
“That season of my life is over,” I told him softly, and then began to ramble lies. “I don’t want to go back. I like where I am. Working for the Secretary. Cleaning. Cooking. It feels right.” Did I sound doe-like and submissive enough? I hoped so.
But thehmphthat came up from his chest sounded amused and skeptical.
“You could write a book for new wives.” He pressed into me, and I turned my head to the side, closing my eyes again as I felt him grow hard. “You can instruct them how to please their husbands and the satisfaction that should come from that.”
How much longer would Amos be on that call?
I cursed inwardly, afraid to speak again.
