Page 59 of Sweet & Salty
I settle into the touch as the opening credits of a not-Barbie movie roll, surprised at just how kind of very, very nice it feels. Surprised that maybe I, too, am finding comfort in this familiar connection with Roman.
What a kind of very, very strange thing to feel.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Heheheheheheh.
Roman
“Sol!” Elodie squeals, running around the counter at the tiny Sweet & Salty café in the seriously tiny town of Bandera, West Virginia. I can see the entirety of the town’s shopping district from the sidewalk out front, save for the Walmart, which I’m told is on the edge of town near the turnoff for the interstate. It’s so…little. My parents live in a small town, but not like this. Their small town might as well be a metropolis compared to Bandera. The only thing missing here is small-town folk interactions, but I think that’s less because they don’t happen and more because they don’t happenaround Jove.
“Ellie!” Sol scolds with a laugh, smiling an apology at the customers he’s serving at the counter. “Sorry, guys. My sister is visiting from out of town.”
“That’s okay, Sol!” a young, starry-eyed teenager giggles, elbowing her friend. “We’re happy to wait for you.”
I press my lips together to contain a snort. I just bet they’d wait for him. Unfortunately for them, Sol’s not going to wait for them… to hit legal age. Much sorrow, I’m sure.
Behind me, Jove clears his throat, gaining the attention of… everyone, pretty much. An older couple seated by the window jolts, then scurries for the door. A man sitting at a high-top table along the back wall stands, realizes he’ll have to pass Jove to get to the door,squawks, then sprints past us, head down and whimpering. The teenagers at the counter hesitate, twistingtheir thumbs as they look to Sol, who is still greeting Elodie, before ultimately deciding that they, too, should scram.
One throat clearing, and the place is ours.
Ilovethis guy. Sure, he slashes tires for fun, but his family is safe from danger, annoyances, or merely unwanted lookers-on without him having to so much as utter a single word. What peace he must feel knowing that he doesn’t have to worry— that his existence alone will keep his people safe.
I consider, momentarily, taking up the hobby of slashing tires and bleaching people’s lawns. Then Elodie laughs her fairytale laugh, and I remember that I am not a man who loves a woman in a tiny town where everyone would know that I’m the one slashing tires and bleaching lawns and know to stay away. I’m a man who loves a woman in a big city surrounded by strangers and dangers too many for me to even consider them all, let alone for them to all know who I am. I’m a man who lov…
I blink.
I’m a man who what now.
I play the tape back and blink some more.
Yeah. I thought that. In my mind. Casually. As if it is a fact that everyone knows, first and foremost me.
Elodie’s tinkling giggles penetrate my WTF IS GOING ON IN MY HEAD, and my heart… my heart says it knowsexactlywhat’s going on in my head, and it quite agrees. We are, it says, in love. With Elodie, specifically.
I gulp.
That is just…
That’s…
Really obvious, huh?
I topple into a cushioned wooden chair, eyes fixed on, apparently, the love of my life as I contemplate the last several years. Elodie showing up in my life, beautiful and sassy and with far too little care for her own safety. Me losing sleep over notknowing if she was okay or not—if shewould beokay or not. Fighting with her, sometimes picking the fights just to watch her eyes spark and her cheeks heat. Feeding her my food, and her begrudgingly enjoying it. Seeing her in my shirt that time I flung sour cream onto hers. Watching her with Ruby, how she always treated her with respect beyond what even Will did. When she moved in and the adjustment was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. We fought, sure, but not over chores or bills or who would do what, just the same stuff we always fought about. When she called me from the bridal shop, and I thought she was hurt. When we got there, and I was more worried about her than my own sister. When I passed care of Ruby to Will so that I could check on Elodie. When we went to the restaurant, I couldn’t calm down until I had her wound around my hand, a physical connection to remind me that she was okay.
When I found out that she’s been going to school, working, and planning Ruby and Will’s wedding without complaint, despite the fact that she was doing it all on her own.
When she let me take her on this road trip, trusting my plan and letting me care for her while we follow it through.
When she let me feed her carrot cake while I rambled about it, when, in hindsight, she’d definitely had it before.
When she went to take a nap and I missed her so much that I drove to Walmart, got what we needed for dinner, then spent the next several hours cooking so I wouldn’t be tempted to interrupt her rest.
When I interrupted her rest anyway, not because she couldn’t eat later, but because I selfishly wanted her to eat then, with me.
When I stared at her in a lovesick daze long enough that her cousin had to say my name four times before I heard her.
“What?” I ask, then clear the gravel from my throat. “Sorry. What?”
