Page 60 of Beyond the Lines
“Dec…” Linc, now topless in only shorts, suddenly goes serious. “You’re talking crazy. NHL scouts have been watching you since high school. You could go straight to the show any time you want, andfor sureafter graduation, and once you’re there…” He shakes his head. “Money. Fame. Any girl you want.”
“Maybe.” I shrug.
“There’s no ‘maybe’ about it. You’re that good.”
“Was that good,” I correct him. “You’ve seen me lately.”
“Everyone has slumps.”
“This isn’t a slump,” I say. “This is me realizing I’ve been chasing someone else’s dream.”
Linc shakes his head. “Man, I’ve seen you light up when you score. When the crowd’s chanting your name. That’s not someone else’s dream.”
“I didn’t say I don’t love hockey,” I clarify. “Of course I do. But art…” I search for the words. “Art feeds something else in me. Something hockey never touches.”
For a moment, Linc just watches me, an uncharacteristically thoughtful expression on his face. Then he lets out a long breath. “Look, take a step back for a second. Deep breaths. You’ve got plenty of time for art, Dec. Your whole life, actually. But hockey? That’s got an expiration date stamped on it.”
I nod reluctantly. He’s not wrong.
“You’ve worked too hard not to give this season your all, so while you work to figure things out—with art, with hockey, and with your future—just don’t tap out on us, OK?” He smiles at me. “Do it for yourself, not just for Mike. And maybe, in the meantime, your head will clear up enough to figure out the rest of it.”
“What about the girl?” I ask.
Linc stands, clapping me on the shoulder. “You said it yourself… she’s Mike’s sister, and she hates your guts… so it’s time to move on, man. But if it makes you feel better, I guarantee she’s not thinking about you nearly as much as you’re thinking about her.”
I grab my hockey bag. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
I realize he’s hit on the real problem. Not that I’m thinking about her too much, but that she’s probably not thinking about me at all. And that bothers me more than it should, because I can’t get her out of my head.
“Fuck that,” Linc says, “I’d be afraid of being alone in a room with Mike’s kid sister, and trying to keep thoselife drawing sessionstame.”
I snort. “That won’t be hard. Mike’s reaction when he realized I kissed his sister was bad enough. If he ever found out that I saw his sister naked…”
“He’d definitely kill you,” Linc says with absolute confidence. “Like, straight-up murder. Hockey skate to the jugular. One-way ticket to the morgue.”
“Thanks for that… overly vivid assessment…” I say dryly. “Now I’ll sleepgreattonight…”
Because the fact is, Linc is right. Mike would probably kill me if he found out I had feelings for Lea. Mike’s passionate about everything he does, and that includes revenge. I’ve seen him take out a vendetta on a player who checked him too hardlast season, and sleeping with Lea would be amilliontimes that.
“Dec?” Linc’s voice snaps me back. “Are you good?”
“Yeah.” I stand. “Just thinking.”
“About Mike’s naked sister?”
“Shut up.” I head for the door. “I’ll catch you later.”
thirteen
LEA
I’m waitingin the Attic library for Declan, and it’s ridiculous how many times I’ve rearranged my pencils. First by color, then by length, and now I’m sorting them in order of how sad I’d be to lose each color if I snapped it in half in anger or frustration at him.
My leg won’t stop shaking. I press my palm against my knee to still it, but the second I remove my hand, it starts up again like it’s got its own nervous system. Which, honestly, fair. My entire body has been a mess since Professor Lucas decided we’d make the perfect pair.
I check my phone again. He’s officially seventeen minutes late, which is seventeen minutes I’ve spent terrified that when it comes time to complete this project with him, I’ll produce total shit. His critique shouldn’t get to me that much, but it did.
My dorm room trash can is overflowing with crumpled sketches, each one abandoned the moment his words creep back into my consciousness. I can’t even make it through asimple figure study without hearing his voice and immediately losing confidence.
