Page 88 of Wretched Heart
“I didn’t see anyone holding a gun to your head when you told me to sign the divorce papers,” I remind him. “You just handed over a brown envelope like that was all it was going to take to conclude our business. And where’s the envelope now?” He goes to speak, but I jump in first. “Oh, let me guess, you passed it to someone else to sort out.” I furl and unfurl my fingers. I want to strangle him. “I don’t suppose it matters. It’s not like we were ever really married. We both knew this was how it was going to end.”
Except Hunter had said that once he’d taken me as his, he wouldn’t want to let me go. He’d dangled that possibility in front of me like it was a rope to cling to, and not a fragile piece of gossamer thread. It was a silly dream.
“If I could…” Hunter’s voice drifts and he looks down at his shoes – anywhere other than my face. “This isn’t how I want us to end, but it has to end, Maddie.” His eyes come back to me. “Your life is here, and mine is everywhere and nowhere else. I can’t give you a home. I can’t give you a family. I can’t even promise I’d sleep next to you most nights. I can’t make you happy.”
“No, but you can damn well make me miserable,” I choke out. “You could have let me decide what life I can or can’t accept? But no one ever fucking does.”
“Maddie, there wasn’t a choice to make. For you, or for me,” he says. “Our time here was just the calm before another storm in my life.”
“It wasn’t that calm,” I point out.
“No, I don’t suppose it was,” Hunter says, his brow furrowing. “It just seemed that way sometimes.”
My throat hurts as I try to swallow. “It did,” I agree. “When it felt like it was just us.”
I can’t keep looking at him, so I resume packing, although not so frenetically. I don’t cry. I won’t allow it. I’ve got the rest of my life to spill my tears, and an empty house where I can scream into the void.
“Maddie…”
“Was there anything else, Hunter?” I ask as I close my suitcase. “Because I think I’m done.”
I press my knees to the suitcase so I can force the zipper. I manage to get it halfway, but no further. It doesn’t help that Hunter is watching me struggle.
“Let me do it,” he says.
As he crouches down in front of me, I quickly step away. I can’t be close to him. I don’t want him touching me. It hurts too much.
Hunter zips up the suitcase, and remains crouching so he’s the one looking up at me. “Don’t leave yet,” he whispers.
I back away until I’m pressed against the wall. My vision wobbles. The bastard is going to push me until I cry. I shake my head as he stands. A tear slips down my cheek. “Don’t do this to me.”
Hunter doesn’t listen. He takes a step closer. “I’m not ready to let you go, little bird. You’re still mine. No one else’s.”
Ah. So this is a reaction to me flirting with Theo. A rush of anger eviscerates my tears as I close the last step between us. I plant both hands against his chest and push. Or try. The man is a wall of muscle, and of course he doesn’t move except to grab my wrists.
“No, Hunter,” I hiss. “I don’t want to hear any more bullshit about me being yours. You let me go today. You don’t have a claim on me anymore.”
I struggle to free myself, but Hunter pulls my arms up over my head and pins me to the wall. His face looms closer.
“You drive me fucking insane, Maddie.”
“Then you must be so glad I’m leaving.”
“I would be if I had any sense” he says, his voice gruff and low. “I was never supposed to feel this way about anyone, but I feelallthe feelings for you, Maddie. Every fucking one. You were it for me. Beyond perfection. More than I deserve, and I know I’m going to regret pushing you away for the rest of my life, but I’m still going to do it.” He kisses my forehead, his lips lingering for the longest time. “I just wanted you to know that.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, and when his grip on my wrists loosens, I have to stop myself from grabbing hold of his shirt. I won’t settle for keeping Hunter for a few extra minutes, hours or days. Only forever will do, and he’s not going to give me that.
He’s almost through the door when I find the courage to speak.
“I feel all the feelings too, Hunter.”
I wish it were enough. But it’s not.
Chapter 31
Hunter
In the last two days, I haven’t stopped working. Connie forces me to eat, but as for sleep, I can’t find peace in the bed that feels too empty without Maddie. I have to remind myself that I spent most of my adult life sleeping alone, and I will get used to it again. I have to. Maddie was a brief anomaly, that’s all. I will get over her.
