Page 126 of Double Standards
“If you were anyone else, Cassie... I wouldn’t give a shit,” I say hoarsely. “But it’syou.”
I watch her fingers pick at the label on the bottle, peeling it back like she’s trying to distract herself from the ache. Her silence only feeds the storm inside me.
“Shit, Cassie. Say something.”
She inhales sharply. “That wasn’t your decision to make.”
Her voice is tight, trembling, and yet steady enough to twist the blade she’s just plunged into my chest. She still won’t look at me.
I sink onto the couch beside her, elbows on my knees, hands clasped. My gaze drops to the floor.
She’s right. She’s fucking right. I took the choice from her. I caged her in silence when she deserved honesty.
“I know,” I whisper, shame thick on my tongue. “I just… it hit me. How much I had to lose. How vulnerable I was with you. And whatever we were…” I turn to her, reaching out, desperate for something to anchor me. “I’m glad we had it. I don’t regret a?—”
“Why are you talking in the past tense?” she snaps, jerking her hand away like my touch burns.
“What?” My brows knit, her question slicing deeper than it should.
She lifts the bottle, takes another long sip, her gaze locked somewhere far from me. “You’re talking like it’s already over.”
I study her, my pulse pounding. Her grip on the bottle tightens as her voice cracks, raw and low.
“Isn’t it?”
“Not for me,” she declares, unguarded and trembling. The honesty in her voice fractures something inside me. “It hasn’t been. Not for one second.”
She sets the bottle down and reaches for her bag.
“Do you even understand what you’re asking of me?” I rasp, anger and longing swirling too close to the surface.
Cassie turns on her heel, sharp and shaky, her finger aimed square at my chest. “You neveraskedme.” She steps closer, fury building. “Nine days.”
She advances again, voice rising. “Ninefuckingdays, Axel. I lost you. I thought you were gone, and when you finally woke up—” She chokes on the words. “You shut me out. Youleftme without a goddamn word. Without a chance to fight for us.”
Her pain is a live wire, and it lights me up from the inside. I shoot to my feet, matching her step for step until her back hits the wall. I tower over her, chest heaving, vision burning red.
“You think I don’t want you?” I growl, my voice low and vicious.
I slam my hand against the wall beside her head. She flinches but doesn’t back down, not really. Her body’s trembling. Her lips part, breath hitching. I lean in, forehead nearly brushing hers, eyes locked.
“There’snothingI want more,” I confess, voice breaking. “You are all I fucking think about. Every second I’ve spent without you has been hell.”
She stares up at me, the space between us electric. And all I can think is—if I kiss her now, I’ll never let her go again.
Our chests rise and fall in uneven rhythm, breathless and burning. Heat pulses between us as her soft exhale ghosts over my skin.
“I’ve been living in the dark,” I murmur against her neck, my lips brushing the curve of it as I inhale the scent of her—coconut, cocoa, and something entirelyher. “But you… you’re a fucking beacon, Cassie. So bright. So precious. I just want to hold on to that light. I don’t ever want to lose it.”
My knuckles skim along her jaw, and when she finally lifts her gaze, I see tears glittering in her eyes. It guts me. Still, I press on.
“Together or not… I can’t lose that light.” The words fall softly against her lips, too close to a prayer.
Her voice is barely audible, a whisper I almost miss. “Then don’t let go.” She presses our foreheads together, her fingers slipping into my hair. “Come out of the darkness.”
That’s all it takes. My mouth finds hers in an instant.
She cups my cheeks, drawing me into her like I’m something sacred. The zing of that first touch sparks through every nerve in my body. I forgot how this felt. Howshefelt. I could punch myself for ever letting this slip away.
