Page 46 of Masked Sins
Starboy makes two fists and then extends his hands in a downward motion, and I copy him a few times before he signs, “well done.”
He grabs the board and writes some more.
1. Check in with me every day.
2. Do not touch yourself unless you get permission from me. I’ll know if you do.
3. Sign the contract.
On paper, it sounds simple enough. Nothing too crazy, and it’ll be a good way to get my toes wet. I’m still doubtful of why he wants to helpmeof all people, and then I remember what he said.
I’m holding back. So let me do this. For you, but also for me.
“Okay. I agree,” I tell him verbally.
“Stop overthinking,” he says, signing slowly.
I huff a laugh. “I’ll try.”
He cocks his head. “Fuck, you have no idea how much power you have over me, do you?”he signs. “I should go. We’ll talk tomorrow at 10a.m.”
I sit up straighter. “Yes, Master.”
He shakes his head, but it doesn’t look displeased. It looks… inawe.
How is it that this powerful and important man is in awe of me?
“Good night, Layla,”he signs, and the call disconnects just as his words float through my distracted mind.
If I knew you in real life, I’d ask you to be my submissive. Full stop. I’m holding back. So let me do this. For you, but also for me.
So let me do this. For you, but also for me.
For me.
Me.
Without thinking, I text Starboy. I don’t care if I sound needy. Communication is key, right?
I’m still trying to figure out what’s in this for you.
Starboy1997
You’ve given me the honor of consenting to this. The reason you relate to Sol so much is because you’re a natural submissive. You’re also beautiful and intelligent, and you seem to understand me better than any of my other two million followers.
Is that sufficient? ;)
My stomach flutters with something I haven’t felt in… years.
I occasionally meet men who are mutual friends or whom I meet online while perusing one of the horrid dating apps. But I’ve never felt anything close to something like this for any of them. Before my falling-out with Orion, I did feel like this around him, but that was because he was older and cool—unlike me, a wallflower in high school.
Most men are just not my type.
I tried dabbling in dating a woman once, but that felt all wrong, too. That’s when I did more research and discovered the asexual umbrella. From there, I found the definition of demisexual. Something clicked in my mind and I stopped trying to fight against the tide of bad dates and zero chemistry.
I’d slept around a little bit—with three guys, all of whom were my friends—but it never led to anything serious. Sometimes I wondered if I’d ever find someone or if I was meant to live my life alone forever. If I needed feelings before feeling sexually interested, that just made it that much harder to find a guy who would understand and be willing to be patient, especially in today’s dating environment.
I had a high sex drive, but I just didn’t feel that sexual attraction very often.
