Page 112 of Holy Hearts
From where I lie, I can see the way the early morning sunlight plays across their features. Sophie’s hair fans out across the pillow, and Kai’s cheek rests against it like he’s drawn to her scent, even in his sleep. I see his arm tighten around her just slightly, as if to reassure himself she’s still in his arms.
I sling my arm over her shoulder, but my focus is fixed on Kai.
Any ordinary man should hate the way he’s holding her. I should feel threatened, jealous,something.Right? But instead, there’s only a strange sense of calm settling over me as I watch them. His face shifts, pressing closer to Sophie’s hair, and the corner of my mouth quirks up into a smile despite myself. I’ve never known anyone besides me who could hold her like that, like she’s something fragile and infinite all at once.
It hits me, suddenly, how much I trust him. Not entirely, not yet, but enough. Enough to let him in, enough to let him stay.
I never thought I’d see this. Never thought I’dwantto.
Least of all with the man who once broke my heart.
The thought twists in my chest, unfamiliar and unnerving, but it’s there.
Sophie stirs between us, shifting slightly until her hand lands on Kai’s chest, her fingers curling there as if to anchor herself to him. I watch the way his body instinctively adjusts, his breathing syncing with hers in a way I know well from years of holding her in my sleep.
And then, his eyes blink open.
It takes him a second to focus, to realize where he is. When his gaze meets mine over Sophie’s head, he freezes for a fraction of a second. But there’s no tension, no awkward scramble to explain himself. Recognition, and perhaps acceptance, flashover his expression. He lifts his head slightly, keeping his hand steady on her waist.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice scratchy with sleep.
The question is simple enough, but there’s a weight behind it that I can’t quite articulate, a genuine concern that catches me off guard for a second. I realize then that until last night, I’ve been giving him a pretty hard time with everything—between what happened seventeen years ago, to the stunt I pulled at the gym last weekend. And despite telling him that we were open to things with him, it must feel strange to enter an established marriage.
Especially because he’s still technically in the closet.
I’m not an arsehole, but I can be petty.
And because of that, I decide thatI’mthe one who’s going to need to make the next move here.
“Yeah. You?”
Kai nods, and his hand twitches on Sophie’s side. “Me too.”
His gaze moves to her, his expression softening in a way that makes everything inside of me tighten. He’s looking at her like he can’t quite believe he’sallowedto touch her outside of a scene. In fact, the only time I’ve seen himnotgentle was during the scene with her.
I observe the way he rubs her lower back in small circles, like it’s second nature. He’s quiet about it, not fishing for praise. He’s just… doing it.
He cares about her.
I suppose I could resent him for that… but instead, I’m reminded that I’m not the only one who can cherish her the way she deserves. And maybe that’s not a bad thing.
“You’re careful with her,” I tell him, the words coming out gruffer than I intend them to.
Kai pauses for a few seconds before answering. “Of course I am. She deserves that.”
Looking down at Sophie, I can see how she’s still clutching his shirt. Her face is serene in her sleep.
“She does,” I agree, my voice barely above a whisper.
Kai doesn’t say anything else. His eyes find mine once more, and in that quiet exchange, I feel the first tentative threads of understanding begin to take shape.
I sigh, settling back against my pillow. Adjusting my arm, my fingers brush lightly against Kai’s, and he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he watches me with something akin to amusement, or perhaps something else.
“Never in a million years did I think…” he starts, swallowing before looking down at Sophie. “This is all still really new to me. I’ve never…”
“You never experimented with a guy?” I ask.
His eyes glint with mirthfulness. “Not until very recently.”
