Page 152 of Holy Hearts
Kai’s eyes soften as he looks at me. “No, it’s cute. I love that.”
His words hang heavy between us, and I swallow thickly before looking back at Snickers. “Anyway, it was the first time I’d gone against my father’s wishes. He was strict—both my parents were, seeing as they were raising me to be alady,” I add, rolling my eyes. “So, it’s special to me that Snickers is here. With me. She’s happier—the warm air, the sunshine…” I trail off wistfully.
“And you?” Kai asks, brushing up against my side.
Looking up at him, I pull my lower lip between my teeth. “And me. Because I’m free now.”
Kai’s brow furrows slightly. “You mean… because of the hotwife stuff?” he asks, stepping away and brushing his nose with his hand.
I check Snickers’s water bucket first. It’s still half full, but I top it off anyway before fluffing the hay in the corner to make sure she has enough to last the night. The cool air feels steady in the barn, and I run a hand along her flank to check—neither too warm nor too cool. Satisfied, I give her a quick pat before moving to the next task.
“Yeah, that. I really do enjoy meeting the men Julian chooses. I love watching Julian’s reaction when they see me, and keeping it one night only makes it easy to carry on with our lives. I suppose doing itisfreeing. I’m free from societal pressure, free from judgment, free to be and act however I want to.”
I pause, watching Snickers for a moment. I can feel Kai’s gaze lingering, his silence stretching out just a little too long.
When I glance over, his expression is hard to read, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“It’s like stepping into this version of myself that doesn’t have to apologize for taking up space—for being desired. There’s something powerful in that. Knowing I can be both soft and bold, both a wife and… something else. I get to reclaim parts of myself that the world tries to shame women for. It makes me feel powerful. In control.Beautiful,” I add, blushing.
“You are,” Kai says, looking at me with that same guarded expression. “Beautiful, I mean. My heart nearly stopped that first day when you opened your front door.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek as I look down. “Thank you. You’re not so bad-looking yourself,” I add.
I glance over at Kai, a small smile tugging at my lips. “And honestly? I like the attention. I like being admired, being wanted. Not in a way that threatens my relationship with Julian, but in a way that enhances it. Seeing the way Julian watches me with someone else, the way his eyes darken, that possessiveness he can barely contain… it drives me wild.”
Kai shifts on his feet, dragging his thumb along the edge of his jeans pocket. “Yeah. I get that.” But his voice is softer, a little distant, like he’s turning the words over in his head and not quite sure what to do with them.
“But?” I press gently, leaning against the wall.
His eyes flick to mine, and for a second, I catch a flash of hesitation, something guarded beneath his usual calm. “No, it’s nothing,” he says, looking away quickly.
I don’t press him.
“It’s not just about the sex, you know,” I continue. “It’s about being seen, feeling alive in that moment.”
Kai exhales softly, nodding as if he wants to believe it—needs to. “I understand. You feel alive here, and you didn’t in London.”
“Exactly. Here, there’s no stuffy parties or boring afternoon teas with the wivesof the aristocracy. Julian and I couldn’t doanything without ending up on page six of the tabloids. But here? No one knows or cares who we are.”
Kai nods, but he stays quiet.
While Snickers eats more of the treats I feed her, I run my hands over her back again. Her soft, light-gray hair gleams under the dim barn lights. She nudges me with her nose a few times, probably looking for more treats.
Kai is quiet, but he watches me with something that makes my nerves thrum with anticipation.
When she’s finished eating, I stroke her neck gently—just the way she likes it. “Good night, girl,” I murmur, adjusting the blanket over her back before shutting the stall door. Snickers lets out a soft snort, and I hear her settling into the hay. The quiet rustling tells me that she’s content for the night.
Kai follows me out as I flip off the barn light, the darkness swallowing us as I step outside, the scent of fresh hay permeating the cool, night air.
Crossing my arms, I look up at Kai as we slowly walk back.
He’s quiet as we meander down the lit pathway. Taking a deep breath, I break the silence, though something intuitive and unsettling coils low in my belly, like I almost don’t want to know.
“A penny for your thoughts?”
He hesitates, placing his hands into his pockets. “I’ve just been thinking about all of this. You and Julian. The whole dynamic.”
I nod as nervous butterflies flit through my stomach. “What about it?”
