Page 167 of Holy Hearts
But I’m not.
I can’t count how many times I’ve replayed his voice in my head, dissecting the way his gaze lingered a second too long over the last few weeks, the way his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but never did. Having him near me working in the shop was pure bloody torture. I thought maybe—maybe—he’d text. Call. Something.
Instead, silence.
Julian buries himself in distractions—working late, pushing himself at the gym. It’s how he copes. But I don’t have that luxury. When I’m not working in the shop, I sit in our quiet house and let the weight of it sink into my bones.
I didn’t expect this to feel like heartbreak.
I thought I could survive without him.
Now, I’m not so sure.
He left,and I think that’s what stings the most.
Not just the absence, but the fact that Kai was the one to walk away.
It shouldn’t feel so personal, but it does.
I swipe at the tears gathering at the corners of my eyes before Stella comes back.
Having Stella’s help has been paramount to getting the shop ready in only a couple of months. And though Kai helped with the harder manual labor, like laying new flooring, the rest wasdone with Julian and Stella, and occasionally her brooding husband, Miles.
I still couldn’t tell if Miles liked me, he doesn’t seem to like anyone except Stella.
Of course, all the Ravage men reminded me of Kai, which only made the whole distance and space thing harder. I knew he needed this. Kai carried his own burdens, his own fears about what it meant to be part of something this complex. But knowing he needed time didn’t make it any easier to wait for him, or to hope he’d come back to us when he was ready.
Because the truth was, Julian and I would be fine. We always had been, and we always would be.
Butfinewasn’t enough anymore. Not without Kai.
The soft hum of my phone vibrating against my pocket pulls me from the spiral. I glance down—Julian.
I almost ignore it, but something about the message catches my eye. It’s a video.
“Something juicy?” Stella asks, returning with a box of tiny, plastic willies. She dangles them in front of me. “Hide these around the store. Whoever finds one gets a free book.”
I snort. “Of course you found those.”
“Never underestimate my ability to locate miniature genitalia.”
I chuckle faintly, already distracted as I press play on Julian’s message.
The screen flickers to life, blurry at first. I squint, but as soon as the audio kicks in, I freeze.
“Say hi.”
Kai’s voice.
The edges of the world tilt.
Then—
“H— Oh, fuuuuck.”
My husband’s broken moan echoes through the shop, and Stella bursts out laughing.
“Oh my God, did Julian send you a naughty video? And who’s the other bloke?—”
