Page 37 of Holy Hearts
She’s not mine. She’s his.
But I wish, just once, she’d look at me the way she looks at him.
“I feel a lot better. I think the worst of it is over,” she tells me, her face relaxed. “The bath was a dream, so thank you.”
“I have chocolate coming soon,” I tell her, checking on the delivery.
Her lips pull into an easy smile. “I knew there was a reason I liked you, Malakai Ravage. Always keeping me on my toes with your little surprises.”
Her praise makes me grin, and I stand. “I’ll let you get out?—”
“Actually,” she says with a playful glint in her eyes, “can you just pass me a towel?” She slowly rises out of the bath, and water cascades down her skin like silk. I’m momentarily frozen—my gaze locked on her.Fuuuuck.She catches me staring, a mischievous smile playing at the corners of her lips.
“Maybe I should have told you to turn around again,” she teases, tilting her head as if reading my thoughts.
I can’t help but feel a rush of heat at being caught in such an unguarded moment.
Or maybe it’s from seeing her naked.
That perfect, petite body… the full breasts that would fit perfectly in my palms, the light brown, puffy nipples, the soft-looking stomach, the dark blonde hair between her legs…
I quickly look around for the towel and hand it to her without looking. “Here.”
She shifts closer, the steam curling around her in my peripheral vision. I keep my eyes fixed on the floor, but my pulsebetrays me, racing beneath my skin. It’s not desire that trips me up.
It’s the awareness of howeasythis feels.
Too easy.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” she says, placing a hand on my arm a few seconds later, after she’s wrapped the towel around her body.
Temptation doesn’t start with desire. It starts with comfort. With familiarity. One step closer, then another, until you’re staring over the edge of something too deep to climb out of.
Sophie is the kind of comfort that makes the ground feel steady, even when you’re already halfway off the cliff.
I let myself look down at her, and she’s watching me with concern. “The marijuana helps with the pain, but it makes me feel a bit loopy sometimes.”
I nod. “It’s okay.” I still feel in a daze as she grabs a nearby robe and pulls it on over the towel, letting the towel drop to the floor. She quickly runs a brush through her damp hair, and I drag a hand down my face, trying to think of anything to break the tension. “I’ll go make you something to eat.”
Sophie smiles as she tilts her head. “Sounds perfect. Thanks, Kai.”
I walk out of the bathroom feeling dizzy, and as I quickly jog down the stairs to the garage, I realize I feel dizzy because my heart is racing a thousand miles a minute.
Penance.
The word clangs around my mind.
This is my penance for getting close to Sophie.
As a pastor, I know all too well about temptation. I used to preach about temptation and tell people it’s like standing on the edge of a cliff of the most beautiful beach you’ve ever seen. Crystal-clear water, colorful coral, white sand. Temptation isn’tthe beach. It’s the pull of desire beckoning you forward while the voice of reason warns you to step back.
Everyone wants to think they’d back away, but for a select few… the temptation of the water is too great, and they want nothing but to feel the free fall.
This attraction feels like a test. With each moment I spend with her, I can’t help but wonder if I’m being led astray by the beautiful beach. Here I am, captivated by a woman who’s everything I’m not supposed to want.
Plus, it’s not like I’m the saint everyone expects me to be.
I’ve had my moments—thoughts and desires that swirl beneath the surface, hidden in the shadows of my conscience, as well as within the confines of my office, where the burdens of expectation can’t touch me.
