Page 92 of Holy Hearts
Julian clenches his jaw. “What do you expect me to say, Kai? That I’m sorry for still being angry all these years later? Do you blame me for that? You kissed me and walked away like it meant nothing.” His voice rises in volume, getting sharper with each word. “Or should I apologize for wanting to break you a little? For wanting to see if you’d fall apart under me?”
The air between us crackles with electricity. My breathing turns uneven, and I can’t seem to look away from him. His blue eyes—so familiar, and yet not—burn too brightly, too full of truths I’m not ready to face.
“Julian,” I start, my voice faltering. I run a hand over my mouth, and I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.
“No. Don’t ‘Julian’ me,” he snaps, his voice cracking on the last word. It lends a sliver of vulnerability that doesn’t match the steel in his words. “I’ve been trying to move past this.You.For seventeen fucking years. But then you came back into my life, and I…” He exhales sharply, like the words are physically wounding him. “I can’t seem to help myself.”
He steps around the couch, and suddenly he’s in front of me, close enough that I can see the gold flecks in his eyes and the tightness in his jaw.
Close enough that I’m not sure I’ll survive this moment if I don’t touch him.
Or maybe if I do.
His chest rises and falls as I try to form the right words. “It’s complicated. With me… I’m just…”
My control slips away with every second that passes, like sand through my fingers. As his eyes dip to my lips, I forget what I’m fighting against, exactly. Because this? I’ve never felt anything like this before.
“Maybe you’re not the only one who can’t seem to move on,” I offer, my voice low and shaking.
His expression gleams with something… surprise, maybe. Orhope.But it’s gone in half a second, replaced by a look so dark and intense that it makes my knees weak.
“Say it,” Julian whispers, stepping closer. His voice is a command, but his eyes are pleading. “Say what you want, Kai.”
My pulse is roaring in my ears, but I can’t seem to find the words. The silence hangs between us, heavy and suffocating.
And then Julian’s hand brushes against mine.
The touch is fleeting. Exploratory. But it’s enough to shatter whatever fragile hold I had on my composure.
“I don’t know what I want,” I admit, my voice cracking. “But I think… I think I want you to show me.”
His breath catches, and for a moment, neither of us moves.
Then his hand curls around my wrist, firm but not painful. Suddenly, the world narrows to the heat of his calloused skin against mine.
“Kai.” My name is quieter on his lips than I expect—soft enough to send a shiver through me. He doesn’t let go of my wrist, and I don’t pull away. His gaze meets mine, steady and confident. Despite that, though, he hesitates. His thumb brushes over the edge of my palm, sending a jolt of sensation straight to my cock. “You know Sophie and I have an understanding.”
My core clenches. “Yes. I’m aware. I was there on Saturday, after all,” I add, arching a brow.
Julian steps closer, and I inhale sharply as he slides his other hand down to my free one, lacing both his hands with mine. It’s both comforting and electrifying all at once, and I feel like I might spontaneously combust at any moment.
“Right. But I’m not talking about that. You and me? What happened between us? It’s not a secret to her.” I can’t look away—not now, when his voice dips into something softer. Somethingrawand real. “What I mean to say is that she knows what you mean to me, and she’s fine with it. More than fine.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “She’s fine with this?” I ask, pressing my body against his.
I know I’m taunting him right back, but I’m still feeling a little petty from the alpha show-off in the locker room the other day. Plus, admitting… all of this… is leaving me with no filter.
“Not just fine,” he murmurs. The heat of his breath feathers against my cheek. “She’sencouragingit. This is bigger than just you and me, Kai. But I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for.”
His words land heavily between us, and my breath catches as one of his hands comes to rest on my hip, warm and steady.
“What exactly are you saying?”
His lips twist into a faint smile. “Sophie wants this. All of us, together. But she knows this—you and me, alone—is important. To me. And perhaps to you, too.”
I swallow. The meaning behind his words settles in my chest, and they swirl in my gut in a dangerous mix of terror and relief.
“Like last weekend?” I ask, feeling like I’m laying everything on the table.
