Page 114 of Holy Hearts
Now I know better.
However, the way he stays put makes me pause.
Kai shifts his weight, gaze flicking to mine. “I get the feeling I’ll need to know a lot about Sophie… but what about you?”
The question throws me off, but I school my expression quickly, shrugging lightly as I pull out the butter and eggs. “Me?”
He shrugs, offering a small smile. “Yeah. I used to know everything about you, Julian. But now… I don’t know. Feels like there’s a lot I missed.”
The weight of that hits me harder than I expect. He’s right. He did know me—back when things were simpler, before seventeen years of silence settled between us. It’s strange how much can change, how much can stay the same.
I crack the eggs into the bowl, the sound sharp in the quiet. “I guess I’ve grown up a little.”
Kai snorts softly. “A little. But you’re still you, right?”
I glance up at him, one brow arching. “What exactly does that mean?”
His smile widens, but there’s something softer in his eyes. “Loud. Confident. Everyone’s favorite person at the party.” He pauses, gaze dipping for a second. “I was always a little jealous of that.”
I let out a low laugh, shaking my head. “You didn’t need to be. I would’ve traded half those parties to sit in that tiny dorm room, listening to terrible music and pretending we had life figured out.”
Kai’s eyes flick up, surprised, like he didn’t expect me to remember things that small. But I do. I always have.
“You still haven’t answered the question, though,” he points out, leaning against the counter.
I sigh, stirring the eggs. “Fine. Art is a big thing for me. I consult now, as you know, but I collect too. I like nice things—good wine, tailored suits. Keeps me grounded… or distracts me. Depends on the day.” I shoot him a wry grin. “Cooking’s been a more recent thing. It helps quiet my brain. I’ve tried a hundred different hobbies over the years, but nothing ever sticks for long. The ADHD hasn’t changed much.”
Kai chuckles. “I remember that. You dragged me through half of your weird hobbies.”
“Lucky you.” I smirk.
“Do you remember that book binding class you made me take with you? It was fucking horrible,” he chimes in.
I laugh. “I do.”
“What else?”
I cock my head. “Working out helps too. Drinking. Partying. Causing trouble when I’m bored—some things never change.”
Kai’s gaze softens, and for a moment, we’re not standing in my kitchen now—we’re seventeen again, and he’s looking at me the same way he used to, like he’s memorizing me all over again.
“I missed this,” he says quietly.
My chest tightens, but I force a grin to break the tension. “Careful, Kai. You might start to like me again.”
“Too late,” he mutters, grabbing a bowl and stepping beside me. His hand brushes softly against my lower back.
The moment lingers, familiar but heavy with something new, and this time, there’s no hesitation as he moves closer to me—like he belongs there, even after all this time. We work in silence with the dough, and Kai is a fantastic sous-chef. I can tell my messy enthusiasm irritates him, though, because he trails behind me and wipes up the various messes I seem to create everywhere.
He also takes the towel slung over my shoulder and folds it perfectly, setting it down next to the bowl on the counter without even realizing he’s doing it.
Twenty minutes into letting the dough rise, Sophie comes down the stairs wearing leggings and a cropped sweatshirt. Her hair is still damp—she must’ve taken a shower—and she looks fresh-faced and rested.
I open my arms instinctively, pulling her into a tight hug as I close my eyes and inhale the fresh citrusy smell of her shampoo. My eyes snap up to find Kai watching us with trepidation.
I know he still feels like an outsider, and I don’t know how to fix that.
“You okay?” he asks her, both hands flat on the island as he looks at her with a furrowed brow.
