Page 59 of Holy Hearts
“I needed an outlet. I wanted something to let off that pressure. So I turned to the lifestyle. Not like this, exactly,” he nods to Julian and me, “but something with a little more… intensity.”
Kai pauses, watching our reactions, and the tension thickens. He leans back, his hands draped over the back of his chair, looking every bit the man who knows his own power—and the control it gives him over others. He clears his throat, and his voice lowers even further, almost conspiratorial.
“I enjoy guiding people to the edge, letting them feel their limits and push against them. Some call it edge play,” he says, watching me intently, “but for me, it’s about helping someone find freedom in surrendering control. I ask them to give up theirfears, their expectations, even their sense of self.” His gaze flicks from me to Julian. “And sometimes that requires taking them to a place that feels… dark.”
A shiver runs down my spine, and I find myself clutching my wineglass a little tighter.
Julian must notice, because he starts to trace slow, lazy circles on my bare thigh. I squeeze my legs together to keep from moaning.
Julian’s eyes flick toward me, his hand warm as he digs his fingers in. I’m sure he can feel the way my breathing shifts when Kai speaks, the small telltale signs of excitement I naively think I’m hiding well.
But I’ve never been a good actress.
He catches Kai’s gaze across the table
“I think Sophie’s interested in your ‘edge play,’ Kai.”
I choke on my wine, glaring at Julian. “I am not.”
Kai leans back, lips twitching. “Are you sure?”
My cheeks burn as I avoid their matching gazes, because he’s not wrong.
He knows me well enough.
“And the religious side of things?” Julian asks, his voice soft but probing. “That’s part of the play for you?”
Kai nods, an edge of something wicked in his expression. “There’s power in ritual. In confession. In submission to something larger than ourselves. I find it fascinating, taking on that role—not just as someone who guides spiritually but also as someone who… demands devotion.” His eyes flash as he adds, “I ask them to obey, to trust, and sometimes even to worship.”
His gaze lingers on me, and I can feel the air between us heat, like the room itself is holding its breath.
I shift in my seat, letting my dress ride up just slightly. I’m not sure if I do it for Julian or for Kai. Maybe both.
The thought alone makes my stomach flutter.
Julian’s hand tightens on my leg. I glance at him, and the corner of his mouth twitches up in that smug, knowing way that drives me wild. He knows exactly what I’m doing. Worse, he likes it.
And Kai?
Kai’s gaze flicks down, catching the movement before his eyes meet mine again, darker now. I feel the weight of that look like a slow burn spreading through me.
“And when someone submits to me fully, when they’re willing to follow me to that edge,” Kai continues, his voice like silk, “that’s where they find release. Release from guilt, from shame… from whatever they’re holding on to. But it’s not for everyone.” He leans forward, his eyes gleaming with a dark promise. “It’s only for those who truly want to be led.”
I sip my wine, pretending like I don’t notice the silent exchange happening right here at our kitchen table.
But I do.
And by the time Julian squeezes my thigh three times—our unspoken signal—I realize I’m not just imagining it.
There’s something happening here.
And I’m not entirely sure I want it to stop.
There’s a long, loaded pause. Julian’s ministrations on my leg ground me, and I look over to find him watching Kai with a similar sharpness, something like respect in his eyes.
Julian smirks, leaning forward, his gaze unwavering. “And what about now, Kai? Are you still… guiding people to that edge?”
Kai’s gaze grows darker, his smirk twisting into something almost feral. “I try to keep it private,” he says. “But with the right people, in the right moment… yes.” He lets his eyes roam over us both, his expression unguarded and raw. “If they trust me enough to bring them there.”
