Page 65 of Filtration Play
But then it would return like the shift of a season, and the reminder would set in that this was a long-term struggle, something that couldn’t just be banished by a little therapy.
“Have you eaten today?” he asked.
Fin’s stomach rumbling answered for them.
He squeezed the back of his neck. “I can either order us pizza or see what I can assemble from what you have.”
“I’ve got a block of cheese, stalks of celery, and a bag of old rice,” Fin muttered. “I’m not the best with cooking. Most of the time I eat out.”
The fact that Fin wasn’t cracking a joke over what they’d said spelled out everything about where they were at. Seeing them so broken down and defeated slammed into him hard. He hated everything about this, and he cracked his knuckles. The urge to punch whoever had done this rose in a fierce way.
“I’ll order pizza from downstairs,” he said. “Don’t think cheese rice with celery is going to be a great meal.” He headed over to their couch and took a seat as he placed an order on his phone.
To his surprise, Fin settled right next to him. They didn’t lean into him, but their close proximity was a step forward, given their tendency to bolt.
“Pizza should be ready in a half hour,” he said.
The quiet simmered between them, the unknowns percolating in the air. He wasn’t sure whether to ask or turn on the TV and lean into the avoidance game, but he took all his cues from Fin.
Whatever had happened at the meeting with their mom hadn’t been good.
“She wasn’t the one who showed up,” Fin said, their voice barely above a wrecked whisper. They hunched forward, elbows dug into their thighs as they stared at the floor. “My father figured out we’d been meeting.”
The pieces clicked into place. Rage burned through him fast and fierce, but he bit back his comments, his anger. Fin was opening up, and he wouldn’t dash the opportunity just to sate his own emotions.
“Hadn’t seen him in over a decade, not since I left their house.” Fin clutched the frozen bag of peas to their cheek. “Asshole still has a mean right hook, though.”
The simple way they said it broke his heart.
Ollie’s mom might’ve died when he was a kid, but he’d had the kindest parents in existence. His dad was gentle and sweet, and Julian was the caretaker he’d needed when he was younger. Hearing what Fin had been through, how utterly alone and beaten down they’d been, fractured something inside him. He’d been such a little shit as a teenager, keeping Jules and Dad at a distance every chance he could,but learning about everything Fin had been through, how they didn’t have those tethers available, shifted something for him.
He needed to let his family in.
“Fucker,” Ollie said, repeating their earlier statement. The first small grin appeared on their face, and the sight struck him square in the chest. Three little words bubbled to the surface, desperate to escape. Because the truth was, he’d fallen for Finley Williams the moment they crash landed into his life and whisked him away on their Ducati. And bit by bit, those emotions had increased until they’d become all-consuming.
He was so deep in with them that he didn’t know how he’d surface if this ended.
“Did you talk to Meg?” he asked.
Fin shook their head. “She’ll flip out. I don’t need the drama right now. I just need the bruise to go down. Not like my fucking father didn’t get payback. He’s very aware I’m no longer a scared kid.”
“Good. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw that monster.” He cracked his knuckles, as if that would release the rage swilling through him.
Fin shrugged. “No need. He got the sucker punch because I froze, but we agreed he and Mom will never see me again.” They swallowed hard, their eyes darkening slightly.
“You can be mad all you want, but I’m going to hug you now,” he said.
“I’ll bite.”
“Please. That’s only going to encourage me.” He slung an arm around them and dragged them in close, and true to Fin’s statement, they brought his forearm up and sank their teeth in. The slight sting felt good, though. It connected them, and it also helped abate some of his anger.
They let go, and after they released the little bit of violence, a switch flipped. They melted into his side, slumping against him. Fin reached for the peas and placed the bag back on their cheek, which had to be throbbing.
“Anytime you want to use me as a chew toy, you’re welcome to.” Even though he tried to keep the situation light, the depth of emotions stirring inside him had swelled to a hurricane force. Having Fin in his arms, knowing they let him take care of them like they took care of him meant everything. He’d never had that sort of give and take with a partner, let alone the intensity of what he felt for Fin.
The relationship they were building here either had the potential of the love he’d hoped for in secret, or it would be devastation he’d never recover from.
But all he knew was he couldn’t pull away.
