Page 18 of Do It For Me
“I can’t… What happens if you—if I believe you and you lie to me… I couldn’t live with something like that.”
“Why would I lie if I’ll get what you think I want anyway?”
Okay, he has a point.
“I don’t know.”
He smiles gently. “I have no reason to betray your trust, nor to take advantage of it. All I want from you is your love, Lana. So, I’m begging you to believe me, because I promise I won’t let you down, and I always keep my promises.”
I stare at his outstretched hand.
My whole life, I’ve been moulded into someone obedient, someone who accepts everything without question, without hoping for more, or even a little love. The only reason I know that’s not what I want is because Mum used to tell us love stories, ones Tara’s nanny taught her. They gave me a hope I didn’t know I could have. They taught me what my father was doing was wrong, and I grew up hating that he only loved me when I was quiet in my bed, letting him touch me while he told me I was such a good daughter for not telling Mum.
I was desperate for any love from him.
If Dante is lying to me, the only thing that could happen is for me to end up like my mum, and I was already willing to accept that kind of life.
But if he’s telling me the truth, then maybe I could live with love, with a husband who respects me and puts me first. Maybe he could even help me with my traumas.
He could really love me, and I could love him.
If this goes wrong, I have nothing to lose.
So I take his warm hand, and hope I’m not making a mistake.
HE DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW
During dinner, we talked about our childhoods. I shared the only time I saw my mum truly happy; the mischief Tara and I used to get into, and how devastated I was when they told me I’d never see my mum again after marriage. I could feel the weight in my chest as I spoke, but Dante didn’t press me on it. He changed the subject when I stopped talking. My mind had wandered back to the day I was kidnapped, and I don’t want him to know what happened.
He talked about his mother, how she’d been learning to knit, using the excuse that it was for her future grandchildren.
They would be my kids...
But do I even want children? I don’t see myself as a mother, not with everything I’ve been through. The thought of my child falling into the wrong hands, or the fear of losing a daughter if she gets kidnapped as I did… It terrifies me. Yet, the kid I met earlier today was so sweet.
Maybe, someday, I could have one of my own. Just not right now… or any time soon.
“Can I come get you tomorrow?”
Dante’s voice startles me, bringing me back to the present. I didn’t even realise we’d reached the house.
“I don’t think my father would let me go out two days in a row.”
“He doesn’t need to know.”
I turn to look at him, a little confused.
“What do you mean?”
His smile widens. He takes my hand and kisses it. “You’ll see.” He winks.
He steps out of the car and quickly comes to open my door.
My stomach tightens again, but this time it isn’t because of him—it’s because of my father.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Yes… I don’t know. All of this is a bit confusing.”
