Page 53 of I Knew You
He must not know about the fake marriage, then. I shoved that aside as anger swept through me. Who did Whit think he was? He was Julianna’s brother, but he wasn’t her keeper. Nor mine.
“I won’t promise that. It’s not your decision to make.”
“Listen to me closely,” Whit countered, his voice steely. “I know how you are, Bram. You’ll get Jules in your system, then you’ll get bored, and then you’ll break her heart. It’s what you always do in every relationship you’ve ever had. I’ve watched it happen over and over. I can’t watch it happen to my sister.”
“How do you know she wouldn’t be different?”
“How do you know that she would be?”
I let the words sink in, and my anger cooled into doubt.
I had already hurt Julianna in so many ways. I was trying to show her how sorry I was for the mistakes of my youth and the truths I had yet to admit to her, but nothing would ever be enough. I could never make up for how I’d failed her.
What if I admitted to her that I still had feelings for her after all these years, and she accepted me, then I messed up again? I couldn’t imagine doing it in a million years. But still…what if I did? Even if it wasn’t on purpose?
“You’re right,” I conceded. “I don’t want to hurt her. That’s the last thing I want.”
He let out a long breath. “I didn’t mean to be harsh. But she’s my sister. You know she is not going to stay in Mill Creek.She’s going back to her life in Charlotte once this is over. That’s always been her plan.”
I could hear the nails being driven into my coffin of hope with every word he spoke.
How could I tell him about the fake marriage now? He’d see it as another manipulation. I bent over in my seat. “I hear you. You’re right. I’ll stay away from her like that.”
“I wish I could come out there. It would make all this easier. Life’s really teaching me that I need family. I miss her, and being around you, too, man.”
“Yeah.” My heart wasn’t in the conversation anymore. My friend could not support me in what I wanted most, and I couldn’t find the false optimism to be there for him either. “I gotta go. We’re in a meeting.”
“Sure thing. I’ll holler at you.”
I ended the call.
Julianna: When are you coming home?
The text came through about four-thirty pm. It was simple, yet it made my insides twist with so many stupid emotions. She’d called it her home, and she cared what time I would be with her. Knowing those two things was enough to make my chest puff with pride. Fuck that physician’s assistant.
“Got a hot date?” I typed out the teasing, somewhat flirty remark I would typically make. But then I erased it.
Me: Soon. I’ll pick up some burgers.
I put my phone down and started the truck. An immediate reply appeared.
Julianna: No need. I’ve got something here for us. I was hoping you were on your way.
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. She had taken the time to fix supper for us.
Me: Go ahead and eat. I’ve got some errands. Your back feeling okay?
I had to ask. It wouldn’t matter if I pulled away. I would always care.
Julianna: Not too bad. See you in a bit.
I wish I could read between the lines in those words and gauge her level of disappointment, but I couldn’t. I knew better than to make assumptions. Maybe she cared, perhaps she didn’t, and whatever the answer, this could only end one way.
I had to think of random things to kill time so I wouldn’t go home and make terrible choices. I went to the pet store in South Roanoke and bought a few things for Lakey. Realizing I’d only wasted an hour, I stopped for some food and a beer at Lady Jane’s, the only bar in Mill Creek.
The place was empty. No game was on to draw crowds, and there were no weekend tourists. All that suited me fine. The last thing I needed was to be among people wanting to initiate conversations. I’d just bitten into the first couple of fries I’d ordered when I felt a friendly slap on my back and a hand clutching my shoulder.
“Well, if it isn’t the best tight end to ever play in North Carolina!”
