Page 112 of Through My Window
Obviously, I can’t find anything that fits Ares, just a bathrobe that my mother was gifted some time ago and never wore. I stand in front of the bathroom door.
“I only found a robe.”
Ares opens the door and comes out in his boxers as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
Jesus Christ, he’s hot.
I blush and look away, extending my hand with the robe toward him until he grabs it.
“Are you blushing?”
“No,” I say, acting casual.
“Yes, you are, although I don’t understand why. You’ve already seen me naked.”
Don’t remind me!
“I’ll be right back,” I say.
He takes my hand, clear despair in his voice. “Where are you going?”
“I boiled milk to make hot chocolate.”
When I return, he’s sitting on the floor in front of the bed, playing with Rocky. Even my dog can’t resist him. He looks cuddly in that white bathrobe. I pass him his cup of hot chocolate and sit down next to him. Rocky comes over to lick my arm.
We sit in silence, sipping from our cups, watching the rain hit the window. Even though there’s enough space between our bodies for Rocky to pass between us, I still feel those nerves I get when he’s around. I look at him, and his eyes are absent, watching the window.
“Are you okay?” He looks down at the cup of chocolate in his hands.
“I don’t know.”
“What happened?”
“Some things.” He runs his finger along the rim of the cup. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” I let out a sigh.
“You know you can trust me, right?”
He looks at me and smiles. “I know.”
I don’t want to pressure him. I know that when he feels ready to tell me what’s happening, he will. For now, we sit, watching the rain with a cup of chocolate, and enjoy being together.
- ARES -
This feels good.
I never thought being quiet with someone could be so comforting. With Raquel even silence is different; everything with her has been so fucking different.
From the first time we talked, Raquel has been so unpredictable. I think that was the first thing that got my attention. When I expected a particular reaction from her, she would do something completely different, and that intrigued me. I enjoyed teasing her, making her blush, and seeing that wrinkle in her eyebrows when she gets angry. However, I never planned to feel anything else.
It’s just fun, I told myself so many times when I found myself grinning like an idiot thinking about her.I just smile like that because it’s fun, that’s all.
Lying to myself had been so easy, but it didn’t last for long. I knew I was in trouble when I started rejecting girls because I didn’t feel anything. It was as if Raquel had monopolized everything I felt, and that terrified me. I have always had control over my life, over what I want, over other people. Giving up that control was impossible; I couldn’t give it up to her.
I hurt her again and again. She took each blow, each hurtful word. I wanted to believe that she would give up, and my life would return to normal, but deep down I prayed that she wouldn’t, that she would wait a little longer until I sorted out my mess.
She waited, but she also got tired. Now she wants me to start from zero, to fight for her all over again.
Why not?
