Page 20 of Follow My Voice
Mr. B. gives me more tips for my first day, and then my session is over and I bid him farewell. I feel more relaxed about how to handle starting community college and more hopeful that everything will go well. Ineedeverything to go well. Starting college is the first step to regaining control of my life and getting back on the road to normalcy.
11Think of Me
“GOOD EVENING ANDwelcome to your favorite program,Follow My Voice. This is your friend and companion Kang speaking.”
I’m feeding my neighbor’s puppies, so my phone is in my pocket and I have my headphones on.
“It’s a nice, cool Monday night. You might need to bundle up a bit with a light jacket. I’m loving this drop in temperature so much that I’ve got a hot chocolate right here next to me, and it’s really hitting the spot.”
I smile; I love hot chocolate.
“Tonight’s theme was chosen by you, our dear listeners, throughout the day today by voting on our X feed.”
Donky, one of the puppies, licks my hand and it tickles.
“Out of several options, the winning topic is unrequited love. I was surprised that option won out, but I find it very interesting.”
“Unrequited love, huh?” I rub Donky’s neck. “Our love is not unrequited, Donky.” The puppy sticks out his tongue and licks me. “Our love is pure and true. You and Sappy”—I pet the other puppy—“are my Prince Charmings.” Sappy lets out a little bark, and they both melt my heart.
“Apparently, some of our listeners know what it’s like to experience unrequited love, maybe because they fell in love with someone who’s famous, out of reach, already taken, or unavailable due to other circumstances that made it impossible to be with them. Like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Rosaline inRomeo and Julietor Heathcliff and Cathy in Brontë’sWuthering Heights, two of the most impossible loves in literature.”
Romeo and Rosaline.
Heathcliff and Cathy.
Kang and Klara.
What am I thinking? I shake my head to banish these crazy thoughts.
“I think the only advice I can give is, if circumstances won’t allow you to be with a certain person, you need to let them go. I think by holding on to the impossible, you’re wasting time and you may miss the opportunity to find someone you can truly be happy with. You may be letting a greater, more possible love slip away before your very eyes. As Benvolio tells Romeo, ‘Forget to think of her… Examine other beauties.’?”
This is the first time I’ve heard Kang sound a bit negative, although it’s practical advice. Have you ever had an impossible love, Kang?But he said the other day on the show that he has never been in love.
“I have to admit that I haven’t been entirely honest with you, folks.”
That gets my attention. I sit down.
“The other day I told you that I’d never been in love, but that’s not true. My first love was an unrequited love.”
I don’t know why it makes me uncomfortable to hear that.
“She was in love with someone else, so yes, I know how it feels, and I can tell you from firsthand experience that it’s better to let that person go and move on.”
It sounds to me as if he hasn’t fully gotten over her. And it hurts.It shouldn’t—Kang is just a radio host whom I like to listen to and whom I’ve exchanged a few text messages with. It shouldn’t bother me that he has feelings for someone else. But it does.
Kang introduces the next song, while I keep turning his words over in my mind. I need to forget about it; it’s none of my business, I shouldn’t care. Part of me is a little sad that he hasn’t texted today, but he’s under no obligation to do so. Besides, if I want to talk to him, I could write to him myself. But I won’t; I’m not brave enough.
I’m putting water out for the puppies when the song ends and Kang speaks again: “Let’s continue with our theme for today. I’d like to share a quote that reads, ‘The worst way to miss someone is to have them sitting right next to you and know that you can never have them.’ This line is by the incredible Gabriel García Márquez. What do you think? I agree that the most painful of all unrequited loves are the ones in which a person has to share their daily life with someone they long to be with but can’t. Have you experienced anything like that? Share your thoughts with us.”
Kang says he’s going to read messages from listeners and first up is Liliana. “Liliana left us a message today. She says, ‘Dear Kang, you are my unrequited love.’?”
My jaw almost drops to the floor.Really?!
Kang laughs. “I don’t think I’m anyone’s unrequited love, Liliana, but I’m flattered.”
What if Liliana piques Kang’s curiosity and he decides to text her? I’m sure that, unlike me, she wouldn’t hesitate for a second to initiate a conversation with him.I don’t care, I tell myself.
When the show ends, I reluctantly take off my headphones. If it weren’t for Donky and Sappy, I’d be in a bad mood. But these adorable puppies are a source of calm.
