Page 71 of Follow My Voice
Kang turns his body toward me and raises his cup in a toast, flashing those dimples I love so much. And then I realize something: Kang is very special to me. His radio show helped me through a very difficult time; he talked me down when I was having a panic attack; he offered me his guidance as soon as he found out we were at the same college; and he’s done a lot to help me get back into the world. Why should I question his reasons for it? He’s a good person, and he doesn’t have to explain himself for wanting to help me.
Having my crush like me back isn’t the most important thing in the world. My life has never revolved around guys; I’ve overcome pain much more intense than heartache. I’m grateful to have met people like Kang, Perla, and Diego, the first friends I’ve had in a long time. I’m proud to have overcome a panic attack on my own for the first time; to be navigating college somewhat successfully; to have attended my first soccer game; and to be here now, at my first college party, after everything I’ve been through. These accomplishments buoy my confidence. So, with a big smile, I walk over and raise my cup. “To health, Kang.”
We tap our cups together and sip our drinks. The hot chocolate slides down my throat, warming me from the inside.
Having come to terms with what we are, I decide to stand next to Kang to enjoy the view.
“So nice and quiet out here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I really didn’t expect parties to be this loud,” I answer.
“You make it sound like it’s your first party.”
“It is,” I admit with a shy smile.
“You haven’t missed much,” he says.
I turn and lean against the railing.
“If you say so, I believe you,” I answer, and before he can respond, I add, “Bat-Kang.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Bat-Kang?”
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your nocturnal escapades on Fourteenth Street, Bat-Kang.”
He presses his lips together, repressing a smile. “I have to give you points for originality. Anyway, just so you know, the Batman mask looks great on me.”
“I don’t doubt it,” I say before I have time to think. I grimace in embarrassment.
“Oh, really, you don’t doubt it?” He looks at me quizzically.
I straighten up and turn away to avoid his gaze. “As if you didn’t know…” I whisper.
“As if I didn’t know what?”
That you’re attractive. How hot those dimples are when you smile. How whatever you wear looks great on you.
I fall silent and take another sip of hot chocolate.
“Klara?”
“Beautiful view, isn’t it?”
I glance at Kang and see that he’s watching me intently, his eyes fixed on me as he answers. “It is.” His voice lowers as he adds, “Gorgeous.”
Silence. We stare into each other’s eyes, and I nervously start playing with the drawstring of my sweatshirt. Kang reaches his free hand toward me and pushes my hood off my head.
“You don’t need to hide from me.” His hand gently cups my face and I freeze. “I’ve already told you you’re beautiful.” He runs his thumb along my cheek. “I promise to cherish every layer you reveal to me, to be in awe of you as much as I am of your beauty. So stop hiding, Klara.”
My cheeks are burning, and that strange tingling in my belly is back. These must be the famous butterflies everyone talks about. Right now, with his eyes on mine, his hand on my cheek, my poor lovesick heart wants to start hoping; it all feels so intense and so real. I struggle to focus as my brain and my heart begin to duke it out.
Brain: We’re friends, and friends can compliment each other, Klara. Don’t get carried away.
Heart: You don’t feel this way with a friend, that electricity when your eyes meet.
And as if life had conspired to make this moment even more perfect, snowflakes begin to fall, landing in Kang’s black hair, on his clothes. The first snowfall of the year, so early. This moment couldn’t be more perfect.
“Kang…” I don’t know why I say his name. I’m rooted to the spot; I don’t want this moment to end.
