Page 11 of Follow My Voice
The song continues and I like it; Kang always chooses great songs. But I’m finding it hard to listen, kicking myself for having sent that message to the show.
The song ends and Erick begins speaking: “Well, we’re back, and I know you can’t take the suspense any longer. The message from our darling K says, ‘Yes, I’m female. Now, Erick, will you keep your promise?’?” Erick lets out a chuckle. “Apparently K is not a big fan of mine… Too bad, babe, your loss! But, all right, let’s get back to our topic for today.”
Kang talks more about the feeling of missing someone. “People sometimes struggle to admit how much they miss someone, thinking it’s a sign of weakness. But as Fyodor Dostoevsky writes inThe Brothers Karamazov:‘What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.’?”
“Well, I’ll just come out and ask the question on everyone’s minds right now,” says Erick. “Kang, have you ever missed anyone?”
“Of course.”
“A friend? A family member? Or a girl you like?”
My heart stops. I don’t want to hear about a girl Kang misses, but I’m unable to take off my headphones.
Silence.
Erick laughs and continues, “I wish you could see the expression on Kang’s face right now; I really think it’s a girl.”
Ouch.
Kang finally speaks. “I don’t think people are interested in that, Erick. It’s time to say goodbye for tonight. But before we go out with a song, I’d like to read a quote from one of my favorite poems, ‘Annabel Lee’ by Edgar Allan Poe. ‘We loved with a love that was more than love.’ Now, to our song. It’s about missing someone, to go with our topic of the day. I hope it makes you feel something, anything, even if it’s pain, for it’s better to feel any emotion than to keep it locked inside. Enjoy, and have a good night.”
The song begins and I listen to it as I go back to my room. I lie down on the bed, close my eyes, and start to doze off before I’m woken up by the feeling of my phone vibrating on my chest. I’m a very light sleeper, something left over from the nights when I had to stay alert to care for my mother when she was sick.
Soothing music is playing in my ears; I take off my headphones and sit up to check the message, the light from the screen so bright it blinds me for a second. Kamila and Andy are the only people who text me. Pathetic, I know. But, to my surprise, it’s a message from an unknown number.
Unknown:Hello.
Me:Who is this?
Unknown:Kang.
And right there, lying in the darkness of my room, I forget how to breathe.
8Convince Me
I STARE ATthe screen, unable to move, unable to react. Did I read that right? I must be dreaming. I rub my eyes, but the message is still there.
Kang?Kang sent me a message? How? Why?The questions crash into each other inside my head. The border between fantasy and reality has been breached and it terrifies me. Should I answer him?
Me:Kang? From Follow My Voice?
Unknown:The one and only. Sorry to text out of nowhere, don’t want to scare you.
Me:How did you get my number?
Unknown:I got it from the radio station message board.
Me:Why?
Unknown:I don’t know, K.
What kind of answer is that? My heart feels like it’s on the verge of collapse. I’m talking to Kang, whose voice has gotten me through so much for so long.
Me:You’re going to have to come up with a better answer than that.
Unknown:I know, I guess I’m just curious about you.
Me:You’re curious about one of your listeners?
