Page 18 of Follow My Voice
“Have you been doing your breathing exercises?”
“Yes. I practiced them today on my way here.”
“Good. Have you been keeping busy with activities?”
I nod again. “Yes, and I haven’t had any panic attacks, even when I’ve done things outside my comfort zone. I’ve been staying outside at the park a little more, joining Kamila on small errands every now and then.”
“That’s excellent news, Klara. But you should still keep doing your breathing exercises in case you do experience a panic attack. Even if it happens, it does not cancel out all your progress up to now. You may experience a few more panic attacks before you say goodbye to them forever, or you may never have one again; only time will tell.”
“I know.”
“You also know why you’re here. You’re starting a new chapter of your life—going to college. How do you feel?”
“Very scared.”
“And what are you scared of?”
“Everything: being around so many people, having a panicattack in front of everyone, being stared at, being criticized, being made fun of…”
He places both elbows on the desk and leans forward. “What will happen if people stare at you? Will you die?”
I shake my head as I voice my response. “No.”
“What if they criticize you or make fun of you?”
I sigh. “Nothing.”
“Exactly. Yes, you are going to feel uncomfortable, you might even feel bad, but the reality is that looks and words can’t hurt you physically, Klara. And that’s your biggest fear, physical harm, dying. Does this concern with people teasing you come from a fear that, for example, you might stop breathing and no one will help you?”
“Yes.”
“Why would you stop breathing, Klara? Do you have a lung disease?”
“No.”
“Pneumonia? A bad flu, by chance?”
I shake my head.
“So why would a young woman with a healthy pair of lungs suddenly stop breathing?”
Another sigh. “I don’t know, they’re just thoughts that come to me.”
“And what have we said about those kinds of thoughts?”
“They are not facts, they are beliefs rooted in fear,” I say, taking a deep breath.
“Where is the evidence to back up this belief that you will suddenly stop breathing?” he points out.
“There’s none.”
“Exactly. You want to know some facts? You’re a young and healthy lady who doesn’t even have a cold. You will not spontaneously stop breathing; that’s not how our amazing human bodies work. They don’t shut down out of nowhere.”
“Do you really believe that?” My voice is filled with hope.
“Oh, I do, and my belief is not based on fear, it’s based on evidence. Now, where does this belief that you will stop breathing come from? Any ideas? Have you ever experienced any kind of shortness of breath? Or seen something like that?”
I take a moment to process and think about what he’s saying, and I bite my nails for a second.
