Page 26 of Follow My Voice
“How can I go on without you?”
Strong arms pull me up, forcing me to stand.
“No.” I try to break free. “No…”
Andy does not loosen his grip, now pulling me away.
“No, Andy, no. We can’t leave her alone in the rain.”
Kamila turns my head so that I’m looking at her. Her face is red and her eyes are swollen from crying. “Klara”—she holds my face between her hands—“we have to go. Remember what Mom said, that she’ll always be with us as long as we keep her here.” She places a hand over my heart. “She’ll never be alone; she’ll always be with us.”
My lips tremble, and I keep trying to free myself. “I don’t want to leave her. It’s raining so hard. I’m not going to leave her like this.”
“Mom will not be alone.”
“I’ll stay with her until it stops raining,” Andy says, and his voice suddenly reminds me that he’s still there. “Go home and get some rest. I’ll keep your mother company, okay?”
“You promise?” I ask. “Promise you won’t leave her alone as long as it keeps raining? She doesn’t like the rain.”
Andy nods.
“I promise you, honey. Now go home.”
Two tears slide down my cheeks as I remember that moment. The rain is still pounding against the window.
I miss you so much, Mom. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit your grave. I wish I could go out whenever I want to… But I’m trying, Mom. For you, for Kamila, for Andy, for me. I’m trying my best to be able to visit you whenever I want, to keep you company on rainy days like this.
I wipe my tears, careful not to move too much since Sappy and Donky are asleep on top of me.
And then the phone vibrates in my pocket and I carefully pull it out to check the message:
Kang:Nice weather we’re having today. It’s strange how I love the snow, but hate the rain.
No, it is not strange, I want to say; I feel the same way. Another message comes in.
Kang:I miss your voice, K.
Kang:The show’s about to start. Will you be listening tonight?
My heart skips a beat. I hesitate for a few seconds and stand up slowly so as not to wake the puppies. I find my headphones and put them on. Back on the couch, I anxiously tune into the program, because I’ve also missed the sound of his voice, so much.
“Good evening, folks. Welcome to tonight’s evening program,Follow My Voice. This is Kang, your host and faithful companion during this hour.”
And there, for the first time in days, with the puppies beside me, listening to the show, I feel truly motivated to get back on my road to healing, picking up right where I was before the last anxiety attack.
I smile, happiness warming my heart, reactivated, ready to feel again.
14Call Me
Me:Great show last night, Kang.
I send the message without thinking twice. But it’s okay—Kang deserves some sign of life from me after he sent so many messages without giving up. The fact that he cares so much about a stranger whose name he doesn’t even know says a lot about him.
I’m vacuuming the living room carpet. After spending so many days in a state of deactivation, I feel the need to be productive and help out around the house. It’s the least I can do for Kamila and Andy. I’m not yet ready to go back out, but if I’m going to stay inside all day, I can at least clean. I find it surprisingly enjoyable, in fact, because it’s a great distraction.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I try to act natural but fail as I instantly turn off the vacuum and pull out my cell as fast as I can to read Kang’s text.
Kang:I’m glad you liked it, K.
