Page 54 of Grave Flowers
“Indeed, though I imagine they watch in horror from above.”
“Thank you,” I said, but I was even more confused. Aeric put so much emphasis on his play, making me wonder if there was more to it. Yet, so far, it was exactly what he presented it to be: an amateur’s attempt at a mythical retelling.
“My pleasure.” Yorick smiled. “I’m glad to be of help in some way. I must admit that this morning, I had a bit of a crisis. I’m not so certainI’m good at anything. I was a terrible jester, and let’s be honest, you hardly needed me at all last night.”
“You’re good at being a friend,” I said, and I meant it. “You didn’t hesitate at all to come help when Luthien was trying to kill me.”
“Well, you made quick work of him, that’s for certain.”
“It was all thanks to them.” I glanced over at the starvelings. The dirt around them heaved as the roots twisted subtly about beneath the soil. I watched the dirt creep along. Then I drew my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. The garden took the shape of Luthien to me, bringing him back to life. The breeze drifting through it in intervals was like his breath, and the rise and fall of the dirt was like his chest. Every blossom facing me made me think of his eyes, watching from their petaled centers. Only none of this was right. He was dead and would never move again.
“Don’t think about it.”
I looked at Yorick. “What?”
“He tried to kill you. You had no choice.”
“Do you think so?” I couldn’t keep the tremor out of my voice. All my life, I’d felt as though actions were impulses, nothing more. Nothing less. It was why I didn’t resent Father or anyone else for their dark deeds.
But if I didn’t resent them, why did I loathe myself so much?
“I know so.” He took both my hands. It was tremendously improper for a jester to touch a princess, but it was what I needed. He held them gently, his gloves soft against my palms. “You did nothing wrong.”
I squeezed Yorick’s hands and then shifted so we were side by side. Gently, I rested my head against his shoulder, and he put his arm around me. We sat in silence, one fraught with our own hurts. New heaviness weighed on me. I glanced over at the starvelings again. Fresh guilt stung me.
Deep within the dirt was Yorick’s jester pin.
Though no one might ever find it, I’d betrayed the only friend I’d ever had to protect myself. For the first time, I believed it. I knew it.
There truly was good and evil, wrong and right. It stitched the world together, and we could choose which threads to follow.
And I’d chosen the wrong one.
I spent the rest of the day working in the garden. Annia and the other botanists returned with salt water, and they helped me transplant the grave flowers into an empty bed from their undignified vessels. They were in terrible health, but we still wore thick gloves and beekeeping clothing for protection.
As I worked, I found some manner of peace. Soil sifted through my fingers and dusted my hands in pearly granules. Familiar, faint scents from my grave flowers wafted along with the breeze. Papery petals, supple stems, and fibrous roots brushed my skin. In the short time since I’d been away from my garden of grave flowers, I’d forgotten the finer points of their details. How the lost souls turned their petals from red to black so quickly and how the beauties perked up at even the silliest of compliments. It made me miss my grave flowers back home terribly.
The peace didn’t last long. It wore thin as the sun moved through the sky, reminding me that I was running out of time. The wedding was in less than a week. It seemed likely Aeric was Inessa’s killer. I couldn’t ignore the evidence, but couldn’t there be other possibilities? What if Luthien hadn’t worked alone and there were more Radixans at court? I also wondered if an Acusan might be my enemy. And I still hadn’t gotten into Inessa’s rooms. Maybe there were clues there pointing to something else altogether.
I let out a heavy sigh. It was wise to pursue the options, wasn’t it? One of them might be right. Still, shame needled me deep inside. I didn’t truly believe Aeric was innocent, yet I couldn’t stop myself from hoping he was.
Chapter
SIXTEEN
The same shame followed me the next day as I met Duke Cheston for tea in one of the palace’s many parlors. Sitting across from him, I kept telling myself it was good to keep my mind open. Inessa didn’t know everything, and neither did I. For all we knew, we’d gotten it wrong and Aeric wasn’t the killer.
“Your Highness,” Duke Cheston said, smiling at me over the teapot and teacups crowded onto a small table. “I am honored.”
“The honor is all mine,” I said. A servant poured our tea and departed. I took a drink and hid a flinch. Even though I’d put no sugar in it, it was the sweetest tea I’d ever tasted. “I know King Claudius was well loved by his people. I’m sorry about his passing. I imagine these past few months have been challenging, especially with Prince Aeric betrothed to a princess such as me.”
“A princess such as you?” Duke Cheston, who had been drinking the syrupy-sweet tea with abandon, paused midsip.
“Oh, a Radixan,” I said, watching him closely to see if he disapproved. “And one who is half Fely, at that.”
“I admit, I was worried when I heard about the proposal.” Duke Cheston set his teacup down and spoke to me with sincerity. “King Sinet is known as a difficult man, yet you’ve been nothing but lovely.” He smiled at me in an almost grandfatherly way. “I believe people should be judged for themselves, not their houses.”
“That’s very gracious.” Duke Cheston was not proving to be a very worthy suspect, but perhaps he might know someone who was. From what I’d observed, he was one of the most preeminent nobles at court. “And do others here share your sentiments?”
