Page 47 of Grave Flowers
“Are you unwell?” Aeric came to my side. “Or cold?”
“Cold.” I forced out the word between clicking teeth.
Aeric wore no outer garments because the weather was so temperate. He glanced helplessly around the balcony, yet there was nothing but chairs and tables. In one smooth motion, he pulled his shirt over his head and wrapped it around me. I didn’t know why I was shivering, whether it was from the fact I’d put on Inessa’s dress without realizing it or from remembering Luthien, the man I’d killed. I closed my eyes.You did what you had to do.Yorick’s words echoed in my mind, and I clung to them as tightly as Aeric’s shirt. Luthien would have killed me if I hadn’t killed him, and he’d probably killed Inessa too.
I’d had no choice.
None.
But why did I feel as though there were a thorn piercing my soul—one I’d give anything to extract, one that had been there for as long as I could remember—and why did I feel as though I’d just driven it deeper?
I thought of Luthien’s spindly face, the moment when the poison had taken effect and he’d learned he was going to die, only a second before he did. He’d been so surprised. I didn’t think it was wrong to kill him when he had wanted to kill me. But I didn’t understand it. Any of it. What was this life that put me in a garden at midnight with poison in my ring and murder in my heart?
“Tell me what’s wrong.” Aeric remained close to me, and his voice was low, a burr of a sound.
“Nothing.” I gritted my teeth. It was enough to stop them from chattering, but I couldn’t rid myself of the shaking. Frenzy. I was going into frenzy. I’d seen it before in people before they were executed and in guards who’d tortured someone for the first time.
“Here. Sit.” Aeric motioned to the chair. I sank into it. Mercifully, he didn’t question me further. The shaking slowly eased, leaving me boneless and empty, the shirt bundled tightly around me despite the balmy night.
“It’s a beautiful view,” I said finally, determined to prove I was fine. My throat was raw, as though I’d been screaming, and it made my voice scratchy. I stared fixedly past Aeric and over the balcony. It faced out to the city as opposed to inward at the palace grounds. Ornate stone and marble buildings and slate rooftops spread out beneath the stars. Thin peninsulas of streets curled around them, along with islands of parks. It seemed remote, faraway, even though it was right before me. I’d stopped shivering, but now I was numb. My ears were full of cotton, and my limbs and lips didn’t seem to be mine.
“It is,” Aeric replied. The sincerity in his tone startled me, and I looked at him despite the dullness. He’d retreated several steps away and leaned against the railing, but he faced me, not the view beyond.Me, I realized—he meant I was beautiful. Ordinarily, I would’ve said something interesting or coy, but I was too exhausted, and my heart was too heavy.
“Thank you,” I said.
My response discomfited him. He shuffled in place, as though not knowing where to go or look. He’d been braced for me to rebuff him. The simple polite response upended him much more than any retort could.
“Is the shirt enough to keep you warm?” he asked. It was a silly question, considering the night wasn’t cold and the shirt was so skimpy, itwas useless for heat. I’d watched Aeric remove his shirt to hand it to me, but I hadn’t registered until now that he wasshirtless,wearing nothing but moonlight from the waist up. He still leaned against the railing, his back to it and his arms spread out on either side to rest atop it. He seemed made from the palace, from the stone, from all the Acusan perfection.
“No,” I lied.
“Would you like me to fetch you a blanket?”
“Body warmth is more effective, I think,” I replied. My words were bold, but my tone was still brittle. I rose from the chair and closed the space between us.
His breath snagged, somewhere between in and out. Still clutching the shirt around me, I leaned against him, pressing my cheek against his bare chest. A ridge of metal met my cheek. I’d noted he wore a pendant before but had always been distracted byKingwritten across his chest to pay it much mind. Now I saw it was a pendant etched with the Primeval Family.
Gently, Aeric put his arms around me. I closed my eyes. If I just stood there and didn’t move and listened to his heartbeat,itwould become the center of my world, not the thorn.
A heart instead of a briar.
This was part of my plan. I wasn’t losing myself to him. I was drawing him into trusting me so he wouldn’t suspect me later, when I needed to kill him—I wasn’t resting my head against his chest and melting into the strength of his arms because I longed for love. Or peace. Or anything else I’d never been allowed.
Aeric’s hand moved gently up to the back of my neck, and his fingers found their way into my hair. The movements were hesitant, as though he might stop at any moment. I bent my head back into his palm. I dropped the shirt. It fell to the ground, leaving only the thin fabric of Inessa’s dress between us. My numbness left with the shirt, as though my body found itself through the warmth of Aeric’s body. I lifted mychin. If I rose onto my toes, I could kiss him. And I should. On our wedding night, he’d think of nothing but the intimacy to come. It was a good plan. A good strategy.
The night had been filled with nothing but strategy, so what was one more act?
What was one kiss between enemies?
I slipped my hands up and around Aeric’s neck. My fingers brushed his chain. I followed the outline of the necklace to the front and closed my fingers around the pendant. I pulled it forward, dragging him with it as though it were a collar. He came willingly, eagerly, hungrily. I dropped the pendant back onto his chest and lifted my lips to his.
We kissed.
Heat—no, not heat but something more like the cause of heat, like a spark, a strike, a combustion—burst through me. The kiss built into another and then another. I clung to him, and he clung to me, and suddenly he was the one shivering, only with desire instead of frenzy.
I’d thought the sparking heat was a lone fiery particle, but it wasn’t. It was a cascade of particles, and they built until my skin sang. It was too much. The delineation between strategy and desire was eroding, slipping away, disappearing, and suddenly, I didn’t care.
Wet, gritty fingers closed around my ankle and yanked hard. With a frightened cry, I stumbled back, torn from Aeric’s arms. My vision was blurry and confused. No one was behind me. I heard Inessa say, “Sister.”
