Page 115 of Ten Rules for Faking It
“Jesus, Everly. Would you leave me if the tables were turned?”
Everly sat back down, surprised at the bite in Stacey’s tone.“Well, no. But I didn’t mean to ruin your night. I know tonight mattered.”
Stacey sat forward, and it took a minute—hazy post-tears brain—but Everly realized she was mad.
“You know it mattered, because I let you in. You’re supposed to do the same. You’re mybestfriend. You’re my person.”
Everly’s pulse hiccupped. “You’re mine. I’m so sorry I messed up your night.”
“This isn’t about tonight or a date.” Stacey got up, her movements jerky and tense. She walked over to the window and leaned on the wall next to it, staring outside.
“Why are you mad?”
Her friend glanced over, and the sadness she saw in her gaze made Everly’s heart clutch. “The whole social anxiety thing? I didn’t get it at first, because why would I? I love crowds, people—the more noise the better. I’m cool with all that, but the closer we got, which wasn’t an easy road in the first place, the more I understood that this was part of who you were. So you don’t like to double-date, go to clubs, or sit at a crowded lunch table. Who cares? Once you loosen up a bit and start to trust someone, you’re pretty damn cool. Funnier than I’d originally thought, probably the sweetest person I know. Likely, that comes from how much overthinking you do. God, your brain must be fucking tired. I cannotimagine being in there.”
Everly’s mouth hung open. She had no idea where this was coming from or where it was going. The words were raw, genuine, and surprisingly on point. Shewastired.
Stacey wandered back over and flopped into the chair with her legs stretched out. “The thing is, I’ve made it clear in a million ways—at least I thought I had—that I accept you. Igetyou even if I don’t get what goes through your brain.”
“I know that. I love you. Youknowthat.” Her heart got all panicky. Why did this feel like a breakup?
“I love you, Evs, but you can’t keep people at arm’s length. Well, you can, but notme.The other shoe is not going to drop on our friendship. I’m not leaving. Not when you’re being so shy you seem like a snob to others, not when you babble like an idiot because your nerves get the best of you, not when you cry like your heart is breaking. How could you think I’d leave you alone through that? Why would you want me to? Why the hell would you put yourself out there to go on all those dates when you’re in love with Chris? Most of all, why would you keep all of this from me?”
The hurt in her tone slashed across Everly’s skin like claws. “I—” She shook her head, her throat closing up. “I’m not. I’m not in love with him. I wasn’t trying to keep things from you.”
Stacey leaned forward and opened the notebook, pointed at Reasons It Can’t Be Chris. Everly cringed. She knew she should have ripped up the original. “It’s not love. It’s just… feelings. None of this matters anymore.”
Stacey tossed the book down. “How can it not matter? How can you say that? You didn’t cry when you were seven years old and your parents wrecked your birthday party. You didn’t cry when you walked in on Simon fucking someone else. I’veneverseen you cry like this, Everly. You bounce back time after time after time. But not today. Not after Chris.”
Everly’s lips trembled. She pressed her fingers to them, worked to gather her thoughts. Letting out a slow, careful breath, she lowered her hand. “That was just a buildup of everything. I’m sorry for that.”
Stacey’s jaw dropped, and she stood up again. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere no matter what. Cry all over me, snap at me when I do something stupid, say no every single time I ask you to go to a new pub or restaurant. I don’t care. But don’t shut me out. Open up to me. How long have you been crazy about Chris? How the hell can you say he’s never been in love? Have you not seen the way that man looks at you?”
Everly shook her head, unable to process that. She stood up, set the blanket on the back of the couch. “That’s not true. It was just attraction built up over time. It doesn’t matter.” She turned and faced Stacey. “I can’t think about him right now. It hurts. I never learn. I believe my parents every time they say this is the last time, and I’m still surprised the next time. I go out with guys that I know aren’t right for me because then I can say I always knew. The few times I’ve taken a chance, let myself think it might work out differently, it always blows up in my face. I told him I’d choose him. He said the same, but he was never really in a position to make that true.”Not if he’d always planned to leave.
She walked closer, wrapped her arms around Stacey, and rested her head on her shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of best friend and strawberry shampoo. “Iwasgoing to tell you everything, I swear. You’re my person, too. It just all seemed to happen so fast.” She pulled back, gave Stacey a watery don’t-stay-mad-at-me smile that worked because Stacey rolled her eyes and shoved Everly’s shoulder.
“I just want things to go back to the way they were. I have you. My job. I don’t need more than that.” Although that made her sound quite needy, didn’t it?
“One of those things is a guarantee. The other—” Stacey bit her lip.
Everly’s heart hammered. “What?”
“We have a few emails to read.”
“Okay.” She said the word slowly, watching Stacey’s face.
“Mr. N. Jansen emailed all employees. Effective immediately, the station is in the process of being sold. There’s no guarantee we’ll get to keep our jobs or that the station will even stay open.”
Everly looked around as if there were a hidden camera, not understanding what Stacey was saying. She’d only left work this morning. How on earth?
She stared at Stacey. “How long did I sleep?”
Though there was absolutely nothing funny about thismoment, Stacey burst out laughing. She slung her arm around Everly’s shoulder and leaned her head against hers.
“Quite a while. We’re going to be okay, Evs. No matter what.”
Everly had absolutely no idea how her friend could say that and believe it.
