Page 121 of Ten Rules for Faking It
Her breath shook as happiness swamped her. “I said it first!”
He laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember if you did.”
She shook her head, tears blurring her vision. Setting the paper down carefully, she pulled up Facebook on her phone, shoved the screen in his face, her fingers gripping the edges.
She watched his eyes scan over the words she’d gone to sleep with every night in her head since she wrote them.
I lied to you guys. I told you that I didn’t find love, that I was okay with that and appreciated you, anyway. The truth is, I did find love in the least expected place but still because of all of you. I’ve never printed these words down before, but I have severe social anxiety. So much so that I will likely never publish these sentences, but if I do, I’ll struggle with the fact that I did. The dayI announced my misfortune on the air was a turning point for me. It showed me so many things about our listeners, the world, and mostly, myself. I’m brave when I need to be. I don’t need to change who I am to feel good about myself, but I do need to push myself to be better. To be more. Because otherwise, I’m just standing still. I didn’t fall in love with the bachelors you chose not because they weren’t great guys. No, the reason it didn’t work is because my heart recognized the one even before I was ready to see it. I wouldn’t have been able to see it without all of you having my back, showing me it’s okay to get knocked down as long as you get back up. It’s okay to fall in love while being scared to death. I am. I’m scared that he won’t choose me. That I’ll be too high maintenance or I’ll mess it up. Those things might happen, but it won’t change the fact that I love him. That he’s who I choose. Chris, I choose you. I always will.
His eyes blazed bright when he took the phone from her hand, set it on the paper. Taking her hand, he yanked her close. “You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life. You humble me. From the minute I met you, something inside me shifted. I didn’t know what it was at first, but now I know it was my path. What I wanted out of life. I like business. I have enough money not to work, but I always will because it’s a challenge and a puzzle and I enjoy that. But when I met you, I realized there was more to life. I fought it because… well, because I had a plan. My own list, if you will.” He smirked, and she laughed, locking her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry I withheld so much. The only way I can explain it is I didn’t want to be judged by who my father is. I’ve spent my life trying to be nothing and everything like him all at once.”
She reached up, stroked his cheek, loving the feel of his skin under her fingers. “I understand.”
His brows drew together. “You do?”
She nodded. “I always worry that if I open up too much, all people will see is the anxiety. It consumes me sometimes, worrying about that. But I’ve recently learned that even when people see it clearly, it doesn’t always push them away. Not the ones who matter, anyway.”
“You matter, Everly. More than anything. I said I’d never been in love, but I was wrong. I wanted to call you or text so many times this week. That expression about feeling like you’re missing a limb or a piece of yourself? It’s true. I did all the things I had to do to get back here to you, but the entire time, I felt like I was operating without my heart.”
She gripped his wrists, hanging on. “I’m sorry about… everything. The things I said. Not giving you a chance to explain.” Her eyes darted to his chest. She took a deep breath and met his gaze again. “How I reacted to you being divorced. That’s kind of a personal issue for me, but I’m working on it.”
He turned them so he was leaning against the table and pulled her between his legs, his hands going to her hips. “I didn’t fight for my marriage at twenty-one because I was a kid. I wasn’t in love. You asked me if I believe in divorce. I do. Because I don’t think people should spend their lives in a bad situation if they truly aren’t happy. But that doesn’t mean I see it as an option. As a way out. It might be for some people, but if you give me… if you give us a chance, I wouldn’t want the option. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Everly. That includes fighting for you no matter what. That includes making promises and never breaking them. Never giving up. If you let me, I’ll choose you over and over and over again. Forever.”
Tears spilled over, and she gave in to the desperate need to hug him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him until he made a strangled noise. She pulled back, laughing through her tears.
“I’ll choose you back. I promise. Every time,” she said.
He cupped her jaw, stared at her lips before meeting her eyes. “You might have said it first, but I said itout loudfirst.”
She bit her lip. Was there such a thing astoomuch happiness? Her chest was going to burst. “I love you.”
Chris grinned, kissing her nose. “Despite all the reasons it shouldn’t be me?”
She laughed, pressed her body tightly to his, loving the fact that she could. “I was lying to myself. It’ll always be you.”
He kissed her forehead, moved along her temple, his breath fluttering over her skin softly, heating it, healing her heart and making her pulse race wildly. By the time his mouth found hers, her breathing was ragged. She locked her fingers in his hair and kissed him back, reveling in the feel of him against her, the taste of him. She could spend a lifetime kissing him if there wasn’t so much more she wanted to do. His hands roamed, pulling her tighter into his space until not even air fit between them.
He came to his senses first, right about the time she was wondering how sturdy the tables actually were. God. He made her forget everything. He made her want everything. With him.
When he pulled back, he left only a fraction of space between them. “I, uh, arranged a few days off for you. I was hoping I could maybe have a few dates with you.”
Everly’s groan morphed into a laugh. “I want nothing more than to spend time with you. To be with you. But I cannot take another dinner out or crowded restaurant for a while.”
His fingers tightened on her waist, sliding up and down. He pressed kisses along her collarbone, up her neck, stopped at her earlobe, and whispered, “Good thing none of our dates involve leaving my house. That’s why they invented takeout and Netflix.”
“God, you’re perfect,” she said as his lips touched hers again. His words belatedly pulled her back. “But it has to be my place.”
His brows moved down, and his forehead creased. “I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together. But do you not feel comfortable at my place?”
She smiled, her cheeks stretching with happiness. “I’m comfortable withyou.It’s not your place, it’s just… I recently adopted a couple of needy roommates.”
His frown was instant, and his right eyebrow arched up adorably. “Roommates?”
She nodded. “Yes. Wallace and Mac. I hope you like them.”
She couldn’t read his expression exactly, but she could make a guess at where his thoughts were headed. She bit back the giggle that wanted to escape.
“Where exactly are Wallace and Mac sleeping? Are they a couple? Why do you need roommates?”
