Page 94 of Ten Rules for Faking It
Everly didn’t like the feeling in her chest or the way it was winding through her body, freezing up her insides. He was married, but he’d never been in love? Why else would anyone get married? She couldn’t fathom a reason to tie herself to someone through the bonds of marriage if there wasn’t love involved. Was she the only one who thought marriage deserved some honor? Some respect? It wasn’t something a person bounced in and out of as if it were a trampoline.
“Your turn, bro,” Noah said.
“You guys suck. I’m not getting to drink at all,” Stacey said, flopping back into the cushions.
“Let me fix that,” Chris said, his tone light and fun while Everly’s heart was bouncing around. “Never have I ever embarrassed anyone on-air while ten thousand people listened in.”
Stacey sat up with a ginormous smile. Her drink sloshed over the rim of the cup. “I’ve definitely done that.”
More laughter, but it sounded far away to Everly. She felt like she was at the other end of a tunnel, watching from far away. Her leg bounced up and down, slowly at first. She tapped her fingers against her cup and inched her other hand away from Chris.His history is none of your business. He’s not married now. What difference does it make? None. It makes no difference. You didn’t actually kiss. He’s not yours. You choose Owen. You’re choosing Owen. You like Owen. Even if brushing up against his entire body couldn’t do what Chris’s pinkie finger manages. That’s a good thing. Who wants to live with this much adrenaline pumping through them all the time? It’d probably give you a heart attack. That’s right. Being with Chris would be too much on your system. So stop.She pictured a stop sign. Then she pictured banging her head into it.
“Who hasn’t gone?” Stacey asked. “Kitty, you go.”
“Let’s do something else. Mason, there’s a guitar in the living room. Go grab it and sing some bad songs,” Noah said.
“Hey, it’s my turn,” Kitty said. The guests looked her way. “Never have I ever gone on a blind date.” She beamed at them.
“There we go,” Stacey said, taking a long gulp of her margarita. A couple of the others drank, too, but Stacey was so happy about being able to, no one paid attention.
Everly couldn’t pay attention to anything but the pinball game happening inside of her head. It didn’t matter if he’d been married. And divorced. But it made her wonder what he would do in a situation like her parents. Would he go all in and make it work, or would he wash his hands and convince himself he’d done his best? How could anyone really know?Why does it matter?She hadn’t imagined the heat between themearlier. The “almost” between them was stronger than any actually she’d ever known. If she traveled that road only to find that he wasn’t someone who would stick… she didn’t know if she could handle it.
“You cold?” Chris asked, leaning in so his breath tickled her cheek.
“No. Why?” She couldn’t look at him. She tapped her fingers on her legs. They actually did feel cold to touch.
“Your knee hasn’t stopped moving,” he said.
“Sorry,” she said quickly, not hearing what Mari said for her turn. Everly got up, not meaning to do it so suddenly but not entirely in control of her movements.
“Hey, where are you going?” Stacey asked, holding up her glass. “Can you get me something else? I don’t like my drink.”
Pushing her own feelings down deep, Everly took Stacey’s wrist instead of her drink. “Come with me.”
They wove their way through the group and into the kitchen. Everly gulped in air. She started to shiver. Maybe she was cold.
“What are we doing, Evs?” Stacey leaned against the counter. She picked a few grapes off one of the platters.
“I need to go, but I need to make sure you’re okay first.”
Stacey squeezed the grape between two fingers and scrunched her nose up, her eyebrows down. “Why do you have to go?”
“I’m tired. My head hurts a bit. You need to stop drinking.”
Stacey straightened up and grabbed a napkin, wiped her hands. “What’s wrong?” Moving to Everly, she put her hands on her shoulders, bent her knees, and met her gaze. “What’s wrong?”
I’m confused and possibly have feelings for someone I shouldn’t. Someone I don’t know all that well. I’m dating strangers and forgetting what I want for myself. I’m not sure I actually know. Rules or no rules, I feel like I’m messing things up.Tears pushed,so she pressed the fingernails of one hand into her palm. “Nothing. I’m just really tired. Overwhelmed. Please don’t make a big deal of it.”
Though she was nowhere near sober, Stacey nodded, and Everly saw that she was taking her seriously. “Okay. I’ll stop drinking. I’m going to sleep in one of the guest rooms. I won’t be late tomorrow. Promise. You still love me even if I’m drunk?”
The french doors leading off the kitchen opened, and Everly’s heart rate quickened. “Always. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Without glancing over her shoulder, she grabbed her purse from the table, hating how rude she was about to be—leaving without saying good-bye—but she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t pull air all the way into her lungs, and worse, she couldn’t explain why, so she needed to go. She needed space. She made it to the front door, breathing like a marathon sprinter.
On the front steps, she released her nails from her palms, and her lungs flexed a little. She’d parked near the end of the drive, having shown up later than others and knowing she’d want easy access when it came time to leave.
She was almost there.Just get in your car. Go home. Everything is fine. It’s all just hitting you. Eight dates in a month? That’s more than the last five years of her life.
“Everly, wait,” Chris said behind her.
