Page 70 of Get Lost with You
Because he needed something to do with his hands, he shoved them in his pockets with so much force he was surprised he didn’t rip the seams. “And you didn’t think to mention to me that you were taking off for the day to meet up with yourex-husband?” Or that he’d been bothering her for weeks while Levi was busy falling in love with her and her kid.
She met his gaze, and for the first time since he’d come home, he couldn’t read her thoughts. Jillian was so often an open book with her emotions. It made it easier to fall for her. But now, she was shutting him out completely.
“I didn’t think to. I’m sorry. But it doesn’t matter. Everything is changing and I don’t like things being up in the air.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. “What’s up in the air? You’re not getting back together with him.” There was no way.
The immediate disgust on her face assured him he was right even before she spoke. “Of course not. I told you I don’t love him. I’m not sure I ever really knew him. But no. This isn’t about him.”
“What’s not about him, Jillian?” What was she trying to say? His gut cramped with intuition.
“Everything, all of it, I feel like my life is spinning out of control. It’s too much. I think there’s too much going on for us to keep going down this road.”
Yanking his hands from his pockets, he turned and paced the room, stopping behind the counter and then pinning her with his stare. “Everything is wonderful between us. I told you I was falling in love with you and you didn’t say it back but it’s there. I know it is. Then you turn around, go see your asshole ex, who, by the way, you most definitely should have told me was bothering you, then you come here and break up with me? What the hell, Jillian?”
Something between anger and sorrow clashed in her eyes. “I can’t make it all work, Levi. It’s too much. It’s too scary and too uncertain. I need to know I’m doing what’s best for Ollie. I need to find a place to live. We’re going to work together and I can’t have her falling deeper for you when we have no idea where this will lead.”
He started to interrupt but she took a step closer and cut him off, her gaze so full of sadness it nearly took him out at the knees.
“I was married. That’s supposed to be forever and it wasn’t, and while I’m happy I didn’t stay with him, it’s proof that there aren’t any guarantees. My job is to protect Ollie, emotionally and physically. She doesn’t need the kind of upheaval in her life that would come from us breaking up farther down the line. What if we moved in together and then it happened? It would devastate her. I don’t even know how to tell herwehave to move. It’s too much. She cares about you. This way, nothing is jeopardized.”
Levi’s body shook, tiny little tremors rooting him to the spot. “You’re right.”
“I am?” She whispered the words, her eyes shining with tears.
He nodded, gripping the edge of the counter with his fingers until his knuckles went white. “Nothing jeopardized. No risk in walking away. SavingOlliefrom possibly facing disappointment and hurt later in life. Sure. That’s one way to look at it. Another is that you’re being a coward.”
“What?” The color drained from her face.
“You’re in love with me. I’m in love with you and I love your kid, Jillian. You can say you’re protecting her but what you’re doing is showing her that when it comes time to fight for what you really want, you should hide away behind excuses. But guess what? It won’t stop Ollie from ever being hurt or disappointed in life. That’s going to happen becausethat’s life.All it will do is show her that when she had the chance for real happiness, her mom was too afraid to take the leap. Then it’ll make her wonder if she should live her life that way.”
“Don’t you dare tell me about raising a kid. You know nothing about taking care of anyone but yourself. You and Beckett had no right to decide between you where my kid went today. She’s not yours. She’s mine. My whole life revolves around her and you wouldn’t know anything about that. I can’t let people pop in andout of her life when they decide it’s convenient.” Her voice rose and her hand shook when she pointed at him.
“Mom,” Ollie yelled, standing in a little gap between the partially opened swinging door. “Why are you yelling at Levi?”
“Why is anyone yelling?” Gray asked, pushing the door open all the way, a hand on Ollie’s shoulder. He looked back and forth between Levi and Jill. “What the hell is going on?” Ollie started to speak but Grayson sent her a quick glance, brows arched. “I know I said ‘hell,’ Ollie. It’s warranted.” He looked back at them. “Jilly?”
“I can’t do this. There’s too much to do.” Jilly turned and looked at Gray. “My car is at the docks, full of supplies. Ollie and I will walk home.” She handed him the keys and tried to push past him.
“I don’t want to go home,” Ollie said, folding her arms across her chest.
“It’s time to go,” Jill said.
Grayson took the keys. “Jilly, you shouldn’t drive the boat when you’re upset like this.”
Pushing her hands into her hair, she shook her head in frustration. “Everyone needs to stop making decisions for me. Ollie, it’s time to go.Go.”
“I don’t want to!” Ollie yelled back, tears trickling down her cheeks.
Jilly’s back went rigid. “Olivia Anne Keller, move it.Now.”
Ollie stomped away. “You’re mean.”
Jilly started to follow but Grayson grabbed her arm. “I’ll drive you.”
She shook him off. “I don’t need you to.”
Grayson stood taller, and though Levi was all for Jillian being independent and doing whatever she needed to do despite what just happened, he was relieved her brother didn’t take no for an answer.
