Page 72 of Get Lost with You
“It’s okay, honey. I’m right here. It’ll be okay.”
The thing about falling apart after she’d already hit rock bottom emotionally once in her life was she knew that it would, actually, be okay. One day. Sure, she’d have to see him and work with him and know what it felt like to be in Levi’s arms, to feel his mouth on hers, and his body against her. But she’d be okay. Ollie would be okay. There was no other choice. But it didn’t have to happen right this second.
She held tighter to her mom, let the tears come, hoping that when they’d all been cried, some of the sadness would fade and it would be like a cut. It would heal.Shewould heal. There’d be new skin over the hurt. It would be rougher and she’d probably always feel the sting of it if she thought about it too hard. There might even be a scar. But she’d be okay. One day. Just not today. And probably not tomorrow.
She wasn’t sure how long she cried but as she came back to herself, she felt empty. Completely devoid of anything. Her mom left and came back with a warm cloth. Jillian tossed all of her Kleenex into the garbage, used the cloth on her sensitive skin, and let out a shuddery breath.
Tossing the cloth into the laundry basket, she sank down onto the side of her bed. “Ollie won’t speak to me.”
“That won’t last,” her mom said, sitting beside her.
“I broke up with Levi.”
Her mom took her hand. “I hope that won’t last either. He makes you happy.”
More tears threatened, so Jillian didn’t focus on that. “You’re selling the house.”
“We are. We didn’t want to drop it on you like this but it’s been busy and it’s been hard to get everyone together.”
“They’re all here now,” Jillian said, her voice unrecognizable.
“They are. Feel up to coming out? Grayson is going to wear a hole in my kitchen tile pacing back and forth with worry.”
The difference between breaking down as a teenager and now was she didn’t have the luxury of hiding away and listening to sad songs on repeat. She had a family, a life. And a hell of a lot of things to get organized and settled.
Taking a deep breath, she clapped both of her hands down onto her thighs, then stood. “Time to face life.”
Her mom stood beside her but caught her arm. Jillian looked at her, seeing the depth of her mom’s sadness, and understood. When Ollie hurt, Jilly hurt. This was no different, and apparently, it didn’t go away just because your kid grew up.
“Everything all at once is too much. But when you face each tiny obstacle, put it behind you, it becomes easier. You’re not alone, Jillian. You absolutely never will be. You can’t predict the future. I know you wish you could, sweet girl. But it doesn’t work like that. You can accept that and embrace the things that make you happy, or you can turn your back on them and fool yourself into thinking that you can protect yourself from anything that hurts.”
She followed her mom into the kitchen and waves of embarrassment threatened to pull her under. Everyone was sitting around the table, concern and worry etched into their faces. Grayson came forward immediately and pulled her into a tight hug.
“I don’t know what the hell happened. Do I need to kick Bright’s ass?”
Jillian’s laugh was muffled against his chest because he was holding her so tight. She pushed away from him. “No.”
“He probably couldn’t anyway, but I could, and will,” Beckett said, standing up and coming around the table to hug her. “What’s going on, Jilly?”
Her dad hugged her next and it smoothed some of her frayed edges. “Sit down, sweetie. I made you some tea.”
They sat around the table, Jilly’s hands wrapped around a cup of lukewarm tea, her family watching her with worry and love.
She told them about Andrew and her day and losing it when Beckett said Ollie was with Levi.
“Wow,” Presley said, her hands flattening on the table. “That’s a lot.”
Jillian nodded.
“That asshole won’t fight for custody, Jillian. You must know that,” Grayson said, his hands clenched on the table.
“Even if he does, we’ll help you with legal fees. We want to downsize, Jillian, not abandon our family,” her dad said.
“I’m sorry. I fell apart,” she said quietly.
“It’s understandable,” Presley said, scooting closer and leaning her head on Jillian’s. “First off, being in love is scary as hell. It’s like falling off a cliff and having no idea what surface you’ll land on. Dealing with idiot exes is no picnic either. And knowing your childhood home isn’t something you’ll be able to come back to is something I could never imagine if I had the connection with my childhood memories that you do.”
Her mom sat down at the table. “We aren’t trying to pull the rug out from under you, and maybe we should have worked harder to get everyone together sooner. We won’t be traveling all the time—Smile is our home—but we want something smaller. We put an offer on a two-bedroom in Northwood.”
