Page 151 of The Armor of Light
‘Yes. Ouch! Don’t tug.’
‘Sorry. I’ll kiss it better. There. But I have to get the tangles out.’
‘You don’t have to, you just like to.’
‘Should I give you a parting?’
‘That would be so vulgar.’
‘If you say so. There, that’s much neater.’ He sat up on the bed beside her. ‘I’m going to keep this comb for ever.’
‘You don’t think I’m ugly down there?’
‘On the contrary.’
‘Good.’ She paused, and he realized she had something on her mind. ‘Um...I need to tell you...’ She hesitated. ‘I slept with him the night before last.’
Spade raised his eyebrows.
‘He drank a lot of port that evening, as well as brandy last thing. I had to help him undress. Then he practically fell into bed and started to snore. I saw my chance.’
‘You got in with him.’
‘Yes.’
‘And...’
‘And he did nothing all night but fart.’
‘Oh, disgusting.’
‘He was astonished when he woke up and found me in bed with him. It’s been years since the last time we slept together.’
Spade was fascinated but apprehensive. What had she done? He was afraid that some drama between Arabella and the bishop would spoil everything. ‘What did he say?’
‘He said: “What are you doing here?”’
Spade laughed. ‘What a question for a man to ask his wife in bed! How did you answer?’
‘I said: “You were very insistent last night.” I tried to look, you know, bashful.’
‘That must have been something to see. I can’t imagine it.’
Arabella did a very good imitation of a girl being coy, saying: ‘Oh, Mr Shoveller, you make me blush.’
Spade chuckled.
She went on: ‘Then he wanted to know what had happened. He said: “Did I actually...?” and I said: “Yes.” That was a lie. Then, to make it more plausible, I said: “Not for long, but long enough.”’
‘Did he believe you?’
‘I think so. He looked shocked, then said he had a headache. I said I wasn’t surprised, after the brandy on top of the port.’
‘What did you do?’
‘I went to my room, called the maid, and told her to send the footman to the bishop with a large pot of tea.’
‘So now, when you tell him you’re pregnant...’
