Page 75 of Full Tilt
“That’s the problem. I know.”
That Cosmo previously attempted to play matchmaker when he realised Cam lived in Exeter… yeah, you can imagine. Not only did he blow up Cam’s phone in their Love the Game group, but later that day, he sent me a meme that said “when your gaydar and Cupid have a threesome” and then another of a clown putting on makeup—captioned “me trying to act normal after setting up my brother with his future husband.”
I’d ignored it all. Especially since, at the time, Cam had already been on the edge of overwhelmed. And I definitely hadn’t told Cosmo that the guy he was shipping me with was the same guy I briefly mentioned had kissed me before ghosting me. And I definitely didn’t tell him I’d already been getting hot and dirty with him either.
So now? Now, it’s chaos just waiting to happen.
I shoot Cosmo a text.
Me: Hey. Got a sec?
His response comes in milliseconds.
Cosmo: Is someone dying? Am *I* dying?? Why do you sound ominous?
I groan and scrub a hand down my face.
Cam, lounging on the other end of the sofa, raises a brow. “He’s going to combust.”
“Yep.”
I hit Call.
He picks up on the second ring, breathless and dramatic as ever. “What’s wrong? Is it Mum? Is it you? Are you dying? Did you finally get that bad tattoo you always threatened me with in college?”
“Jesus, Cos. No one’s dying.”
He exhales—loudly. “Then what is it? You’re being weird. You never ask to call. This has ‘emotional reveal’ energy all over it. If you tell me you adopted a duck, I swear to God?—”
“I’m seeing someone.”
Silence. One full beat of it before he all but shouts, “Oh my God.”
On the couch, Cam stiffens slightly. I give him a tiny, reassuring glance.
“Is this a good oh-my-God or a ‘should I hang up’ oh-my-God?” I ask. Honestly, at this point, I’m looking for any excuse to end this call.
“It’s a ‘why are you keeping secrets from me, you bastard’ oh-my-God,” Cosmo blurts. “Who is it? Do I know them? Is it serious? Are they hot? It’s serious, isn’t it. Oh my God. Who is it?”
I roll my eyes. He knows I’m in England, yet he asks if he knows them. Technically, he does, but I swear Cosmo takes drama queen to a whole new level. I hesitate. “You’ve met him, technically.”
A pause. Then Cosmo gasps. Loudly. “It’s not—wait. No. It’s not Camden Crawford. As in Camden ‘stealth-sexy’ Crawford? Exeter rugby guy? Tall, hot, and emotionally mysterious? That Camden?”
Cam groans. I shoot him an apologetic look.
Cosmo continues, breathless: “Are you kidding me? I knew there’d be chemistry. When I met him last year, I was like—yep. Big quiet vibes. Needs someone with excellent eyebrows and horizontal energy. Which, hello, that’s you.”
“Cosmo,” I say slowly, “he’s literally here.”
There’s a beat before the asshole cackles. “Oh my God. I knew it. I knew it!Ifixed you up, didn’t I? I told you he was hot and broody and obviously your type.”
I glance at Cam, who’s shaking his head like he regrets everything about this moment.
I sigh. “Actually… we met about a month ago.”
Cosmo goes silent. Suspiciously silent. “Wait. What?”
“I was already seeing him when you went full chaos matchmaker. We just didn’t say anything. I’ll be working on a sleeve for him next month.”
