Page 4 of Time for You
“Yeah.” Daphne dropped her face back down. “You were right, El—dating is stupid.”
Ellie sighed. “It is, but I meant, you know, for me. You want that, so you should have it.”
“How, though? Literally, how the hell am I supposed to find someone to date if I spend all my time at the hospital, and the only guys willing to talk to me on dating apps don’t even bother to do the talking themselves?”
“I’m a bad person to ask that, seeing as I just do the fuck-buddy thing,” Ellie replied.
“And I’m willing to date someone of literally any gender and still don’t have time to actually take someone out,” Brittany added. “It’s the job, not you.”
Daphne sighed and turned her head to look at them. “It still feels like there’s something wrong with me.”
“Of course there isn’t. You’re funny and smart and you look like a goddamn supermodel. If this guy wasn’t into that, then fuck him. But don’tactuallyfuck him, you know?” Ellie said fiercely.
This was well-worn territory for them. Daphne didn’t agree with Ellie’s assessment—after all, if she were as pretty as El claimed, wouldn’t men be at least trying to date her? The handful of attempts she’d made over the years had always ended poorly, which just reinforced herdating is a distractionmotto. And now that she was finallyreadyto date, she was apparently not even worth a real conversation first. “What good is being hot if I can only make small talk about the worst broken bones I’ve ever seen?”
“Please tell me you told Tech Bro Dickbag a gross story,” Brittany said.
“I should have. Instead, I just lied and said there was an emergency with a patient.”
“And he bought that?”
“I don’t think he read enough of my texts with his chatbot to realize ED doctors wouldn’t be following up with a patient like that.”
Ellie patted the top of her head sympathetically. “He’s not worth it.”
“I know, I just—I thought maybe we’d click, you know? And then I’d have it.”
“Defineit.”
“A life.Thelife, you know? I’ve always had a plan, and I figured I’d find a guy eventually, but now—it feels too late.”
Brittany and Ellie exchanged a concerned look, and Ellie shook her head. “I swear to god, if you say you are too old attwenty-seven, I am going to kill you.”
“It’s not that. I know I’m not too old, but I still think I might be too late. Everyone else has at least a decade of practice with dating and relationships, and meanwhile I’ve had like, five one-night stands.”
Ellie frowned thoughtfully. “That’s not true. There was that guy sophomore year. What was his name?”
“Chris. He counts for three of them.” Chris had been a nice enough guy in her genetics class, but she hardly considered hooking up after studying to really count as a relationship. He had gone abroad for their entire junior year, and by the time he came back, she was far too busy applying to med school to start anything up.
“Still, that’s experience.”
“Be real, El.”
“Stop being so hard on yourself, Daph,” Ellie replied in the same tone as Daphne. “But seriously, what do you want, exactly? In a guy, I mean—I know the rest of the whole life plan.”
Daphne rolled to her back and stared up at the crack in the ceiling. She didn’t love the idea of admitting it in front of Brittany, who was basically a stranger compared to Ellie. But residency had a way of traumabonding people, and anyway—fuck it. She was in a mood lately, like something needed to change, so maybe it was her.
“Someone who cares. Like, cares enough to listen to gross hospital stories, even if he hates them. Someone who wants to spend time with me, even if I’m exhausted and cranky. Just someone I can hang out with, be myself around.” She chewed her lower lip, thinking. “And honestly? I want romance. Real romance, not awkward small talk in a coffee shop. Or at least, notjustawkward small talk in a coffee shop. I know you hate this shit, but I want, god, I don’t know, candlelit dinners and love letters? Stuff like that. Someone who gives me butterflies, but who also makes me feel safe and wanted.”
“You want to be in love,” Brittany said softly.
“I know, it’s pathetic.”
“No, it’s you. And it’s out there for you, I know it is,” Ellie said. “But in the meantime, I think I made you promise to do something stupid and impulsive next time we were both free, and today counts, so what do you say?”
Daphne lifted her head and made herself smile at her friends, because they were working hard to make her not so depressed. “I say, what did you have in mind?”
Chapter Three
