Page 102 of Forever, Maybe
Joe’s bottom lip jutted out. “You sure? You dinnae want tae turn intae an alkie. Darren McCardle was a bevvy merchant all his life. It was always a toss-up what’d go first—his heart or his liver.”
“A few beers aren’t going to make me an alcoholic.”
Joe paused, weighing his words, then plunged on. “Aye, but after Amsterdam, when you—”
Daniel cut him off with a raised hand. “We’re no’ talking about that.”
“Fine.” Joe held his hands up in surrender. He grabbed the weakest beer in the fridge and slid it across the table. Daniel popped it open and took a sip, the light, hoppy fizz washing away the lingering taste of cream on his tongue. For a moment, he allowed himself to remember how much he used to enjoy a beer at the end of the day.
Joe sat back down, his expression tightening. “Eh… Nell phoned me last night.”
Daniel froze, his grip tightening on the can. Joe seemed determined to make his point after all, shifting uncomfortably on his seat but pressing on. “She was greetin’. Couldnae get a word out o’ her for ages. Look, I know you’re awfy upset, your pride’s taken a bashing, but—”
“It’s not about pride!” Daniel snapped, his voice cracking. “It’s… it’s…” He trailed off, throat closing.
To his dismay, tears welled up and spilled over. He hunched forward, resting his elbows on the table as they dripped silently onto the wood just as Kylie appeared in the doorway. Her eyes widened at the sight of her honorary uncle crumbling, and she beat a hasty retreat, the door clicking shut behind her.
Joe waited for the sound of the living room door closing before resting a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Mate, there are loads o’ couples out there where one o’ them messes up, and they still make it work. Nell didnae even have an affair—it was a one-night thing. I’m no’ sayin’ that’s a wee thing, but d’ye no’ think she’s put up wi’ a lot from you? All those hours you work?”
Joe’s voice was gentle, but the words struck Daniel like a blow. He swiped a hand across his damp eyes as the beer fizzed weakly in his grip. “Aye, I know. I broke so many promises over the years. But I can’t get past the baby—”
He stopped himself, words hanging in the air like an echo. A typical man thing, he supposed—bottling it up. He hadn’t told a soul about Nell’s second confession, still wrestling with his tangled feelings over it. A baby that might, or might not, have been his.
If, against all odds, Nell had kept that baby… The thought that slid into his mind uninvited all the time. He often found his mind veering in strange directions these days, paths lined with what-ifs and regrets. That kid would have been almost Kylie’s age now. Would it have been so terrible, really, for her to have had the child? Even if it hadn’t been his, could he not have raised a son or daughter as his own?
Joe’s gaze had sharpened at the word ‘baby’ but he didn’t push it, instead exhaling a sigh that said a lot of things.Boss, mate, guvnor, you want tae go doon this path? Aye? You’re an eejit if ye do.
Daniel dropped his gaze, his mind snagging on another sharp edge: Jennifer Frazer and her graphic recounting of Nell’s betrayal. It had been too vivid, too easy to picture Nell half-naked with someone else. The image sent bile up his throat every time it crept into his thoughts.
Joe passed him a sheet of kitchen roll. Daniel pressed the rough paper to his nose, wincing as it scratched his skin, already irritated and inflamed. To add insult to injury, his skin had flared up, teenage pimples on top of wrinkles. If he’d been at home, Nell would’ve handed him soothing serums, nagged him to drink more water and insisted he eat more fruit and veg.
Joe took a swig of his beer before breaking the silence. “Me and Nicky hae been talking.”
Daniel’s head snapped up, eyes narrowing. There was a warning there—if Joe was about to suggest playing mediator or any other nonsense, he’d walk out.
Joe waved a hand dismissively. “Dinnae look at me like that. What I mean is… I’ve been thinking about the leave I’m takin’ when the wean comes. I could cut it short—just take a month and a half, then head back tae work. What d’ye think?”
The offer blindsided Daniel. The beer must have made him softer than usual because his eyes filled again, the emotion catching him off guard. Of all the things that could have happened—short of Nell’s one-night stand being erased from history—this was the best possible outcome.
He hadn’t wanted Joe to take such a long stretch of leave. And now here Joe was, offering to give it up, to be there for the next few months, the next year, that steady, calm and reassuring presence just when Daniel needed him most.
God, he loved the man.
“You don’t have to,” Daniel mumbled, though the words lacked conviction.
Joe shook his head firmly, a small smile playing on his lips. “It’s fine. Though I’ll be looking to retire early. Wi’ a regular income fae the profits.”
“Aye, of course.”
Nicky rejoined them, her timing as impeccable as ever, brushing off Daniel’s thanks with a wave of her hand. “Ach, ye’ll be doin’ me a favour. I cannae hae him gettin’ under ma feet.”
Before he left, she insisted on packing him off with a couple of portions of the queasily creamy chicken casserole, wrapped up in mismatched Tupperware. Daniel didn’t argue. He’d had too much beer to risk taking the car home, so set off for the train station, his mind preoccupied, and automatically boarded the service heading toward the stop closest to his and Nell’s home, rather than his mother’s house. Only when the doors hissed shut did he realise his mistake.
The booze swirling in his system whispered treacherously.Go on, drop in on her. Ask her to explain. Tell her you understand…
Across from him, a couple in their early twenties were locked in a shameless display of affection, oblivious to the world. An older man nearby, sporting a thick, straggly beard, tutted loudly, his disapproval almost comical. The scene brought an unwelcome memory flooding back: the train down to London, that young couple with their nosy questions.
Tell us your secret, then! How do you stay married for that long?
