Page 95 of Forever, Maybe
Jamie grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Hell of a way to say goodbye to the place.”
Nell laughed, the sound dissolving the last remnants of guilt.It’s done. I’ve decided. I’m doing this, and I’ll leave the self-recrimination for later.
Jamie was shorter than Daniel—something she noticed now as she pressed against him, her hands splayed on his chest. It was easier for him to bend and kiss her, the angle comfortable, natural. He tugged at her ballet-wrap cardigan, which slipped off easily, revealing the vest top beneath. Much easier than his dark grey shirt, which she finally managed to unbutton properly.
They were both half-undressed now—Nell in her bra, knickers and shoes; Jamie in just his trousers.
Loud footsteps echoed through the hallway, growing closer. Jamie’s head snapped toward the door.
“Shh.” He grabbed her, pulling her close. In a swift motion, he reached over and flicked off the light. The room plunged into darkness.
“Under the desk,” he whispered urgently.
Frozen in place, hearts pounding, they scrambled to hide as the footsteps stopped just outside the door.
The two of them slid under the meeting room desk, their breathing ragged. Nell’s heart pounded so fiercely she was sure it would betray them. Being caught practically in flagrante with a colleague wouldn’t just be a career-ending move. It would be humiliating, reckless and an unmitigated disaster for their precarious personal lives.
“Grab me a Diet Coke from the machine, will you?” a voice called from the corridor.
Nell froze, pressing her palm over her mouth. Jamie tensed beside her. Relief came moments later with the clink of coins and the hollow thunk of a can landing in the vending machine’s tray. Footsteps receded, leaving behind a taut silence that dissolved into shaky giggles.
“This is ridiculous,” Nell whispered, struggling to keep her laughter quiet.
Jamie snorted, his shoulders shaking. Their shared hysteria snowballed, amplifying with every stifled laugh, until the tension of their close call turned into breathless, uncontainable mirth.
Jamie’s hand brushed against hers, and the shift in his touch was electric. Nell’s laughter ebbed as his fingers skimmed her face, cupping her jaw. His lips found hers, urgent and soft all at once, moving down her throat to linger at her collarbone. Her body responded instinctively, her hips shifting until she felt him press against her, hard and insistent.
There was no space for thought, only sensation. Her hand moved to his waistband, deftly unzipping his trousers and reaching inside. The details—bigger, smaller—blurred into irrelevance. The clandestine thrill of being half-naked beneath an office desk with a man who wasn’t her husband overwhelmed everything else.
He groaned softly as she guided him to the floor, the cramped space just enough for her to climb on top of him. “Condom?” he murmured, the question breaking the charged silence.
She shook her head. “I’m on the pill.”
The words felt detached, distant, a casual dismissal of risks she barely acknowledged anymore. Moments later, he was inside her, and her mind fractured into fragments, floating above the scene. Detached observations tumbled through her head like commentary from a dispassionate third party:The thrusts feel the same. He makes different noises. He keeps his eyes shut. So that’s what the fourth man I’ve ever had sex with sounds like when he comes.
The climax, when it came, felt like both a release and a hollow punch. As they lay tangled beneath the desk, the absurdity of it all lingered like a shadow—this reckless, fleeting escape from lives they’d chosen, now teetering on the edge of collapse.
They dressed hurriedly, each movement marked by an awkward urgency. Jamie checked his watch twice, the tight corners of his mouth betraying his discomfort. He looked like a man cornered, scrambling for an escape route.
“Well, dear Nell,” he said finally, his tone adopting an exaggerated lightness. “An unexpected, but very lovely end to the evening.” The theatrics were back, as though he could perform his way out of reality.
“Never to be repeated, as you said. Sensible girl.”
The words hit like a slap, and she forced a tight smile, baring her teeth. “Definitely a one-off. Don’t worry, Jamie. No one will ever know.”
He nodded, too quickly, and began scanning the room, his eyes darting for evidence of their impulsiveness. The empty wine bottle stood on the desk, alongside a half-full plastic cup. He handed it to her with an apologetic gesture, and she took it without a word, swallowing the dregs in one bitter gulp.
He pulled out his phone, avoiding her gaze. “Should we share a taxi?”
She nodded, and they left the office in silence, pausing only to dump the wine bottle in a bin outside. The night air was cool against her flushed skin, but it didn’t help. The weight of what had just happened pressed down on her, heavy and unrelenting.
The taxi arrived quickly. After giving their destinations, the ride passed in strained silence. Neither of them looked at the other, their reflections in the window ghostly and pale against the darkened streets.
When the taxi stopped in front of Stephanie’s flat, Jamie reached out, grabbing her hand as she moved to leave. “Nell… thanks. And… sorry I…”
He trailed off, his unfinished apology hanging in the air like smoke. She looked at him, waiting for more, but none came. Whatever he regretted, she would never know.
She stepped out of the taxi and closed the door without another word. As the car pulled away, its taillights disappearing into the night as it sped off along Stockwell Street, she stood on the pavement, staring after it.
