Page 78 of Soft Tissue Damage
Without Elena present, he turns his anger on me. “What the fuck, Dad?”
“Watch your language.”
“Screw you! You’re kissing my girlfriend. I can say fuck if I want to.”
I feel my temper flare, but I keep a tight rein on it. “She’s not your girlfriend, Leon.”
“How long has this been going on? Have you been creeping on my girlfriend this entire time?”
Leon is the reason that they broke up, but I’m why that reason was brought into the cold light of day. Before that, I was coveting Elena since the moment I laid eyes on her. I kissed her. I pushed her to reconsider her relationship. I have behaved in a way most people wouldn’t consider “being a good father.” Then again, if I thought Leon made Elena happy, I wouldn’t have manipulated Elena and Leon’s relationship so she ran from his arms into mine.
Possibly.
Oh, who am I fucking kidding? I’ve completely lost my heart to Elena, and I don’t think I could resist her no matter the circumstances. It doesn’t matter what mighthave been and what I could have done. It’s done. Elena is mine, and I’m not giving her up. I’m not letting anyone make her feel like she’s deserving of ridicule and disgust either, no matter how much I love my son.
“Elena is blameless and has done nothing wrong. I haven’t been creeping on her, as you put it. I liked her before I knew she was your girlfriend.”
“You met her five minutes before you knew she was my girlfriend,” he scoffs.
“Yes. I liked her as soon as I saw her. Sometimes you know.”
“Dad, she’s half your age. It’s so fucking cringe that you’re going after someone that young. My friends are going to piss themselves laughing when they hear about this.”
“Maybe you should spend less time worrying what your friends think. I didn’t intend to pursue Elena, but I saw you weren’t making her happy, and her permission is all that I needed after you broke up.”
“Find someone else,” Leon pleads. “Find someone your own age. This is so embarrassing.”
I stare at him in astonishment. This is what’s upsetting him? In his shoes, I’d be punching me in the face and planning how to win Elena back, not whining about feeling like the butt of a joke.
“Leon, I’ve been on my own for two years. Do you think Elena is the first woman I laid eyes on after your mother and I separated? I’ve looked at other women, but I’ve felt nothing. Elena is the first woman I wanted.” I search forthe words to try and make him understand how I feel. “Hers feels like the first smile I ever saw.”
Leon rolls his eyes. “I’m going to throw up.”
His petulant dramatics have me gritting my teeth. Leon doesn’t want to understand, but I owe it to my son to try. Even if he’s angry now, he will cool off later, and some of what I say might make a difference. I move closer to him. “Listen to me. I was unhappy with your mother. Desperately unhappy. I love you and Rosie so much. With all my heart. I wouldn’t change anything because I have you and Rosie, but at the same time, it feels like I missed out on things I dearly want. A woman I love who I want to marry and share a home with. Raise children with. A woman who loves the man I am.”
When Leon was a child, it always felt like my ex and I had polar opposite opinions about what was best for him, and with Rosie, I’ve been on my own. I want to share the experience of being a father with a loving wife, and I want that woman to be Elena.
“Whoa, slow down. You’re going to get married and have more kids?” Leon exclaims.
I glance at the door. There’s zero chance that Elena didn’t hear Leon shout that at the top of his voice.
“It’s too soon to know,” I lie. I already know.
“This is so gross. I can’t believe my dad is dating my girlfriend.”
Leon calling her his girlfriend makes my eyes narrow and the back of my neck prickle. “Yourex-girlfriend, whom you dated for a matter of weeks.”
“You stole her from me,” he accuses.
“You pushed her into my arms.”
“You disgust me. You cradle robber. Did you screw her yet?”
“That’s none of your business,” I reply coldly. “I will discuss this with you as long as you want, but you will not resort to name-calling, and you will not pry into things that aren’t your business. You’re a man now, Leon. I should be able to talk with you like a man.”
Leon takes a walk about the room, shaking his head. “She wouldn’t put out for me, but suddenly she’s not frigid for you. Something’s fucked up about her.”
He didn’t hear a word I said. If he weren’t my son, I’d punch him for saying that. I’d throw him out of this house.
