Page 74 of The Agent
Natalie looked down at her plate, her throat tight with the tears she was holding back. “I would prefer you didn’t,” she said in a low voice. She forced herself to lift her gaze to meet his. “I need a little space.”
“What the hell, Nat?” He scraped one hand over his hair in frustration. “You’re beingstalked. This isn’t a good time to need space.” He drew in a deep breath and softened his tone. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“I know.” She was trying to protect both of them.
“Is this about something I said last night?” he asked. “You wanted honesty.”
She couldn’t tell him that she’d seen how vulnerable they both were, so she lied. “I’m just feeling overwhelmed.”
He reached across the table to lay his large hand over hers. “So let me take care of you.”
His words hit her like a splash of ice water. That was how Matt had lured her in. But being taken care of had come with too high a price. She couldn’t fall into that trap again.
“Let your bodyguard handle it,” she said. “Just like you would a client.”
He winced as though she’d hit him. “You know you’re far more to me than a client. What I said last night doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” He squeezed her hand gently, his gray eyes locked on her. “I can’t lose you, Nat. It would rip my guts out.”
She saw the truth of that in his face. Her heart twisted painfully as she understood that she was going to hurt him. She didn’t want to be one of those women who made him feel bad about himself. So better to do this now, stalker be damned.
“That’s why I think it’s time for me to go back to my life in New Jersey”—she waved her hand in the direction of the river—“while you stay here in Manhattan.”
Tully pulled his hand away from hers. His jaw was tight with anger, but she saw the confusion in his eyes. “So you’re saying you don’t want to see me anymore?”
“Of course I want to see you. We have close friends in common, so it’s inevitable anyway. I just think it’s a bad idea to continue sleeping with you.”
Pain glazed his eyes and twisted his mouth. She wanted to tell him she was doing this for his own good.
“Why?” he asked.
She folded her hands on the table and did her best to project an air of serene certainty. “If we go on much longer, things will get messy.”
“That’s not an answer.” He folded his arms across his chest, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he curled his fingers into fists. “But you’re right. Since it’s going to end, better to keep it neat.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with genuine regret.
“Shit, so am I.” He shook his head. “I knew this would happen. I just ...” He stared toward the window. “Just not so soon.” When he turned back to her, he’d shuttered all emotion except for a wistful smile that barely curled his lips. “It was real good while it lasted.”
“Better than good,” Natalie agreed.
Tully’s cell phone pinged and he glanced down at where it lay on the table. “Jenya’s here. She’s your bodyguard for the weekend.” He tapped his index finger on the table a couple of times. “Look, Jenya’s excellent, but I’d feel better if I took the night shift at your house. I’ll sleep in the guest room.”
Every cell in her body yearned to say yes, to keep him with her just a little longer. She gave him a level gaze. “There’s no way you’d sleep in the guest room. And I’m not suggesting that it would be your fault.”
For a moment, they simply looked at each other, the air around them charged with the truth of that.
He shoved his half-eaten omelet away and stood. “Right. Jenya stays.”
Natalie rose too, feeling awkward about how to say goodbye. “Thank you,” she started.
He waved off her gratitude as he came around the table. He leaned down to kiss her briefly on the lips. “We’re okay, Nat? No hard feelings on either side. That’s keeping it neat.”
His mouth was so warm and firm. She wanted to grab his shirt and yank him back for a longer farewell kiss. “We’re okay,” she agreed, lifting her hand to press her palm against his cheek for a mere second. It would have to be enough.
She pivoted toward the kitchen door, somehow managing to get through it without releasing the sob trying to climb out of her throat. Worse, Tully was right behind her in the hallway. She could feel his presence even though, as usual, he walked as silently as a cat.
“I’ll introduce you to Jenya and then you can be on your way. Back to your normal life,” he repeated with a slight edge.
She nodded because she couldn’t trust herself to speak, grabbing her bag and heading for the back door. She waited until he’d disarmed the alarm before she reached for the knob, their hands colliding as he also extended his arm to open it. The unexpected contact wrenched a strangled sound from her, but Tully either didn’t hear it or chose to ignore it. He opened the door for her to pass through.
