Page 74 of The Playboy SEAL
I was okay when it was him assuming I’m dating Dr. Rhodes, but the notion he has a date here makes my skin crawl and my stomach roil. It’s not okay, and I realize the possessiveness I feel toward him won’t go awayregardless of how much time passes. The people are thinning out, so it’s easy to see who belongs with whom. There’s a tall, thin, extra-blond woman standing next to one of his other friends.
I clear my throat. “I won’t hold you up anymore,” I say. “Bye, Macs,” I whisper, finally letting my eyes find his. Still, his lips are pressed in a firm line. I smile at him, hoping for anything resembling his former self. When he doesn’t reply, I turn to start up the hill.
“Teala,” he calls out.
Looking over my shoulder, I raise my brows in question.
“I like your haircut,” he stutters.
I laugh. “Thanks. I like yours too.” It’s the same as it’s always been. Perfect. Not a stray hair out of place. I start walking again.
“Teala,” he says my name again.
I stop and turn, placing my hands on my hips.
“I like your ass.”
I laugh, covering my mouth with one hand. The beautiful blond woman walks up and takes Macs’s hand in her own. I try not to wince or show how much it bothers me, but he knows. He tries to disentangle himself from her.
What more can he possibly say now that his girlfriend is standing next to him? When Macs doesn’t make an attempt to introduce me, I start up the hill, my cheeks heating under her calculating stare. He calls my name again. Louder this time. I stop walking, but I don’t turn around. The words I want to say are on the tip of my tongue. Half of those are swear words and insults, so Ipin my lips together with my teeth.
“We were normal,” he calls out.
Sighing, I spin on my heel. “What?”
He swallows hard. “You said our relationship would never be normal. It was normal. Because it was ours, and we made it. It was formed exactly how we wanted it. We were normal for us, and it was still extraordinary.”
I must look like a deer caught in headlights because Macs doesn’t wait for me to respond.
He blusters on. “You say I remind you of everything bad, that our love was villainous, and I’m calling fucking bullshit, Teala. Love is only villainous if you make it so. Me leaving doesn’t cancel out everything else. Me leaving doesn’t lessen the depth of feelings we have for each other. Me leaving is normal. So is me coming back. To you.”
The blond woman scoffs, rolls her eyes, and stomps off in her heels that are too high for dirt.
“It was normal. We were good together. I’m sorry I didn’t call you when I left, and I’m sorry for assuming all was well. I’m sorry I came by unannounced when I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry the world is fucked up and you have to live with fear. You should know this. All of this. Once and for all.” His strides are long as he approaches, and he’s standing in front of me after several steps. He arrives, and his scent is strewn across every square inch of my body. I have to close my eyes to block out the memories.
I don’t dare move. I should. I know Dr. Rhodes is waiting by this point. His words have glued me to the spot. Tentatively, Macs reaches for my face.
“Tell me you don’t feel this,” he says, cradling my head in his hand. “Tell me it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll walk away and never look back. I’ll go back to pretending I was happy, when in reality I was lonely. Tell me right now that zoo life should be left to the animals and monogamy to seahorses and penguins. Tell me.” His eyes are pleading, and the tone of his voice is so sincere, the pit in my stomach threatens to swallow me whole.
The fact I’ve gotten this far into this conversation without crying is a miracle. “You didn’t come back,” I whisper, tears finally threatening. “I know what I said, and it’s unconscionable, but you didn’t even check in to make sure I was okay.” All of the therapy and hard conversations about my father leaving are juxtaposed with Macs leaving, and this is what I couldn’t get over. The niggling factor in the equation that just didn’t line up.
I look up and meet his eyes, and the tears fall. He brushes them away with his thumbs, both hands now on each side of my face.
“Of course I knew how you were doing, Teala. Of course I checked in on you.”
I shake my head, but he doesn’t release his hold. “You don’t have to lie. I’m sure you have reasons. It’s as if your love for me died when the old me faded away. I’m back, maybe a little rough around the edges, but I’m better. You didn’t check on me, and that’s not…real love,” I say, tripping over the last words. “I should go. Salvatore is waiting for me.”
He releases me, a frown on his face. “Viola gave me updates, Teala.”
I nod. It doesn’t matter. “Whatever you say. I have togo now. Tell Carina and Smith I’m not going to make it to dinner.”
Macs looks at the ground, disappointment touching every part of his body.
The hardest thing in the world is giving someone a half truth. What I didn’t tell him was I’m still morbidly in love with him regardless of his attentions or lack thereof. Dr. Rhodes is waiting in the idling car when I find my way to the top of the hill.
Macs calls my name one more time. I turn, shaking my head. I throw my arms out wide.
“What?”
