Page 105 of The Gathered Fragments of Us
He was right. Any decision about Jessica's contact had to start with Macy.
"Do you have any thoughts about what I should tell her? Like what options she could have? I guess I'm not really familiar with what could be allowed given the circumstances."
"Well, you've got a few. First up, she could have supervised phone calls through the court system. Another option is to keep communication to letters that go through a supervisor. She could also choose no contact for now. But Caden – this decision has to be hers. Don't lead her toward any particular answer. The judge will ask her, and you want her answer to be completely her own."
"Completely get that and already planned to keep my own thoughts to myself. I'll talk to her and let you know what she decides."
After I hung up, I went back out and caught Felicity's eye. Macy was in the living room with Lucas and Zoe, building what appeared to be a Lego city.
"How did it go?" Felicity asked quietly.
I relayed the conversation with David to her.
"That's a huge decision for her."
I replied, "Because it is. But she deserves to make this choice herself."
"Macy," I called. "Can we talk to you about something?"
She looked up from her construction project, immediately alert to the serious tone in my voice. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine," Felicity assured her quickly. When she came over to the kitchen, Felicity continued, "but your dad wants to talk about something. Come sit sweetheart."
We all gathered at the table, and I began, "Macy, your mom has been trying to call us from where she is now."
Macy's face went carefully blank.
"Oh," she said quietly.
"We haven't been taking the calls," I continued gently. "But we wanted to ask you what you want to do. Do you want to talk to her? If you do, we can arrange for that to happen safely. If you don't, that's okay too."
The silence stretched for what felt like an eternity.
"I don't know," Macy said finally. "I mean... I think about her. But also..." She shrugged, a gesture that seemed too heavy for an eleven-year-old.
"It's okay not to know," Felicity said softly. "This is a big decision, and there's no right or wrong answer."
"Can I think about it?" Macy asked. "Maybe talk to Dr. Chen about it first?"
"Of course," I said, relief flooding through me. "That sounds like a really smart idea. You have an appointment tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah. Can I tell you what I decide after that?"
"Absolutely. Take all the time you need."
The next afternoon, I picked Macy up from her therapy appointment. Dr. Chen asked if she could speak with Felicity and me for a few minutes.
"Macy and I had a good conversation about the situation with her mother," Dr. Chen said once we were settled in her office. "She's processing this very thoughtfully."
"What did she decide?" Felicity asked.
"She asked me to tell you that she's not ready to talk to her mom right now. She said she needs more time to feel... and I'm quoting here... 'better inside' before she has that conversation."
I felt a mixture of pride and heartbreak. Pride that my daughter was learning to recognize and articulate her emotional needs.Heartbreak that she had to navigate something so complex at her age.
"But," Dr. Chen continued, "she also wanted you to know that she might want to talk to her mom eventually. She said if her mom is getting help and getting better, maybe someday she'd be open to it."
"Wow," said Felicity. "That feels like a really mature perspective for someone so young."
