Page 111 of The Gathered Fragments of Us
"Does Jessica know?" Felicity asked.
"They told her this morning. The medical team said she took it... about as well as you'd expect. She's asked to speak with you, Caden."
"Me?"
"She wants to see Macy too, but the doctors think it's better to wait until they have a better handle on her condition and treatment options."
I looked at Felicity, who squeezed my hand.
"You don't have to decide right now," Morrison said. "But I wanted you to have all the information."
After Morrison left, Felicity and I sat on the couch, both of us struggling to process this latest development.
"Holy shit," she said finally.
"Took the words right out of my mouth."
"Do we tell Macy?"
I thought about what it would be like, as a little girl, to be in her situation. She'd been doing so well, settling into our routine, feeling safe and secure for the first time in months.
"We have to. But carefully. I think we should talk to Dr. Chen and get some perspective."
"She's going to want to see her."
"I know."
"And you? Are you going to go see Jessica? She wants to talk to you."
I considered the question. Six months ago, I would have gone immediately, driven by guilt and some misguided sense of responsibility. Now, I found myself thinking about what was best for our family, for Macy, for my marriage.
"I don't know, I think so? Not for Jessica's sake, but for Macy's. Someday she's going to ask me if I did everything I could for her mother. I want to be able to say yes."
Felicity nodded. "I think that's the right choice."
"Will you come with me?"
"If you want me to."
"I do."
That evening, during our check-in, I found myself especially grateful for the structure Dr. Mitchell had given us.
"How did you feel about our relationship today?" Felicity asked, settling cross-legged facing me on our bed, hands clasped in mine.
"Solid. Like we were really facing this together instead of me trying to handle it alone," I said. "Even with something this huge and complicated, it felt like we were a team and would face it as a team."
"Was there a time you felt like I wasn't being open with you about my own feelings or response to something?"
I thought about the day, about Morrison's visit and the hours afterward. "No, actually. I appreciated how you let me see your reaction in real time. When Morrison said 'Glioblastoma,' I could see the shock on your face, and then when you squeezedmy hand—it felt like we were experiencing it together instead of me having to guess what you were thinking."
"Was there anything that I did today that helped you see me or how I felt about our relationship?"
"When you offered to come with me to see Jessica. You didn't hesitate, you didn't make it about anything other than us, doing this together. It showed me that you're really in this with me, even when it's complicated and messy."
"Of course I am," she said softly. "We're partners—in everything, partners."
Later that night, lying in bed with Felicity's head on my shoulder, I thought about how much had changed. If this had happened last year, even six months ago, I would likely have tried to carry the burden alone, tried to figure out how to handle everything by myself.
