Page 26 of The Gathered Fragments of Us
"It's important. Can I get your attention?"
She looked up from her phone. "Everything okay, Dad?"
"Yes, and no, honey. I want to talk to you about the purse you found in your closet."
Macy sat up and looked at me. "Okay."
I blew out a breath, feeling my shoulders sag with the weight of my confession. The morning light slanted through Macy's curtains, illuminating dust motes that danced between us. My coffee sat cooling on her nightstand, forgotten.Damn, this was hard.Necessary, but so hard. How do you find the words to tell your daughter you've been a complete moron? That you've hurt someone you both love?
"You know it’s Felicity's birthday."
"Yeah, Dad, duh."
"Okay, well, it's a big birthday. She turns 40 today."
"I know, Dad. I thought this was about the purse?" She says with eyes open, genuinely confused. Which tells me I'm doing this all wrong.
"Okay, so it's her birthday. Remember when you found the purse?" At her nod, I continued. "It was hidden in the back of your closet. You only found it while looking for your ballet shoes, right?"
"Yeah, Dad. Wha—" Macy's eyes widened until I could see white all around her irises, her mouth dropping open in slow motion. "Oh my God—"
"Macy -"
"OH MY GOD. Oh my God, Dad. No! Oh my God!!!!" Her hands flew to her mouth, fingers splayed across her cheeks, nails digging into skin that had gone from sleepy-pink to ghostly pale in seconds. "Dad," she whispered through trembling fingers, "are you about to tell me that was Felicity's birthday gift?"
"Yes, honey. It was."
Eyes starting to water, she leaned forward. "Oh. I guess... I didn't even think it was Felicity's? Oh dad. It was in my—she always uses a black purse—dad! Why was it in my closet??"
"Sweetheart, it's entirely my fault." Inching closer to her, I reached out to her shoulder. "I thought your closet was a good hiding spot. I was really dumb when I hid it. I just—when you saw it, you were so happy holding it, thinking it was for you. I completely failed and, instead of telling you the truth, I said yes."
Macy was full-on crying now, hands covering her face.
"I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't mean for this to happen.” I ran my hand through my hair, feeling the weight of my mistake like a stone in my chest. “It was a gift she had asked for, something she actually designed and picked out her—"
At that, her face shot up. "What?! You mean she knew what she was getting?"
"Yes honey. She did."
"But Dad, that means she knows I have it! She saw me with it that night!" Yelling now, she jumped up from her bed. "Why did you let me take it?"
"Honey, I—"
"Why did you let me think it was mine? Let Felicity see me wearing it?! Dad! She knows I have it! She knows! I thanked her for it!"
"I know, honey, that's why I—"
"Dad! She must be so upset! Is that why she is gone? Did she leave because of me?" Macy's tears started to flow again.
"No honey. Not you. She is not mad at you. Please don't worry about that."
"How can I not? Oh my God, Dad. I don't know what—how do I—? What do I—? What do I do? I feel horrible!"
She crumpled to the floor. Damn. I had no idea that she would react like this. I'm fucking speechless. Frozen. After a beat, I sat on the floor next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. "I'm really sorry, honey. I messed up. Now I realize that in trying to avoid hurting you when you loved the purse so much, I caused a bigger problem and I hurt Felicity. When she saw you with it, and she learned what I'd done, it broke her heart. She was sad because my actions showed her how little attention I'd paid to something that mattered to her."
Macy turned her body and buried her head in my chest. "Daddy. I'm so sorry."
My gut twisted. Even now, she was worried about someone else's feelings. She's better than I've been. "No, sweetheart. This isnot on you. Like I said, honey—this is all on me. You didn't do anything wrong. I should've told you. I should never have given it to you in the first place. You know, when I told Felicity I would get it back from you, she was more worried about how you would feel in that moment."
