Page 34 of The Gathered Fragments of Us
She swiped to accept. "Hi, Mom. Dad to—"
I couldn't hear Jessica's side, but I watched Macy's face change after she was cut off and the more she heard. The excitement drained away, replaced by confusion, then something that looked like guilt.
"But Mom, I want to—" Macy started, then stopped. Listened. Her shoulders slumped.
"I know, but—" Another pause. Her eyes got watery.
"It’s just for a little—"
"No, I didn't mean—" She looked at me helplessly, then back at the phone.
"I’m sorry, mom." Another pause.
"Yes, Mom. I understand." Her voice dropped to a whisper, the words barely making it past her trembling lips as her shoulders curved inward like a wilting flower. She was defeated.
"Okay. I'll get my stuff."
She hung up and sat there for a moment, staring at her hands. I felt helpless. I’ve never interfered where Jessica’s relationship with Macy was concerned. I honestly wasn’t sure what the right talking point here was.
So, I went with a basic. "What did she say?" I asked gently.
"She said…" Macy's voice cracked slightly. "She said I'm her daughter, not Felicity's. And that I shouldn't be here for when she gets back."
Macy started gathering her things quickly. “She said if I really cared about our family—about her and me—I wouldn’t choose Felicity over her. She said it hurts her feelings when I want to be here more than there tonight. She didn’t even let me tell her I wasn’t choosing Felicity! But that I still wanted to be here.”
I sat down on the edge of her bed. "Okay. Wow. That’s a lot. Do you want to take a minute and tell me how you’re feeling?"
She sighed, shoulders slumped. "No. It’s okay. I don’t want to upset Mom. She’s been stressed a lot lately and it’s probably easier if I just go home like she said."
"She have a lot going on?”
“Um. Yeah—I think it’s work, or something. She said that things are tighter right now.”
Huh. That seems weird. A memory tickled at the back of my mind where Jess and I had a back and forth about money. As I tried to remember the details though, Macy cut in. “It doesn’t matter, Dad. I’ll figure it out.”
I stood up, pacing to her window. Outside, the neighbor's sprinkler was running, casting rainbows in the late afternoon sun. Such a normal, peaceful scene—nothing like the storm brewing in my chest.
"You know what, Mace?" I turned back to her. "Your mom is wrong."
Her eyes widened. I'd never contradicted Jessica in front of Macy before. Never.
"I'm not saying this to be mean about your mom," I continued, sitting back down. "Just that — well, you wanting to be here doesn’t mean you aren’t choosing your mom. It also doesn’t mean that Felicity is trying to replace her. You caring about Felicity doesn't take anything away from how you love your mom. Love isn't pie, kiddo. There isn't less to go around when you add more people."
Macy nodded slowly. "I know that. I just... Mom has a lot on her plate."
I sighed, choosing my words carefully. "Sometimes adults get scared. We’re not perfect, you know. You saw that with me over the last week, right?"
"Definitely."
"Well, maybe your mom sees how much you care about Felicity and worries it means something it doesn’t."
"But I want to apologize to Felicity. About the purse. I feel terrible."
"You know it’s not your fault. It’s still my fault how everything happened."
"Yeah, but dad. I didn’t even think about her." She dropped her head. "I only thought about myself and that’s what I want to say ‘sorry’ for."
"Okay, well you should still be able to do that." I stood up, decision made. "Here's what we're going to do. You're going to write Felicity a note—everything you want to say to her. I'll make sure she gets it. And the surprise we prepared? We'll figure out another way to make that happen."
