Page 37 of The Gathered Fragments of Us
"You know what? You're grounded. I think you need some time to think about what family really means. So, no phone, no hanging out with friends, no video games. I'm doing this because I love you, and I can see she's clearly confusing you."
"What?! But Mo—"
"Enough. Grounded for two weeks. Do you want it to be longer?"
"No." I looked down at my hand and whispered, "I'm sorry," again.
"Brad and I are going out to dinner. You're going to stay in now since you lost the privilege of coming out with us. You'll have to find a frozen dinner or something in the freezer for dinner now."
"Ok."
"Then it's straight to bed. You are not to watch TV and I will be keeping your phone until further notice."
"Ok."
Brad will be home in a few to get me. Go to your room until we've left. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night. I need some space tonight, honey. It hurts too much to see how easily she's turned you against me."
"But Mom, I didn't mea—"
"Enough Macy. Go to your room."
I turned around and walked to my room, head down. Mom's voice kept playing in my head, over and over. "That woman." The way her face twisted when she said it. But this time, her eyes weren't just cold when she talked about Felicity—they were cold when she looked at me too. My chest felt like someone was sitting on it. I wiped my cheeks with my sleeve, but it was pointless. New tears just replaced the old ones, dripping off my chin and making dark circles on my shirt.
Once I got around the corner, I ran to my room and threw myself on my bed. I buried my head in my pillow, not wanting Mom to hear my crying in case it would make her madder.
I decided to wait until she and Brad were gone. Then I could go to the den and use the computer. Maybe I could send dad an email and let him know I was sorry, but I couldn't do the video tonight.
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I heard Mom and Brad walking around in the kitchen, talking and laughing—like she hadn't made me cry all of half an hour before. Waiting for them to leave, I sat on the floor by my bedroom door. I waited and waited. Finally, I heard them head out the door. I raced to the window to watch their car pull out of the garage and leave the driveway.
Once I was sure they were gone, I ran to the computer, doubling back to put something in the microwave from the freezer—in case mom came back and saw me out of my room.
Sitting in front of the computer, I opened an email and tried to think of what to say. I didn't want to tell dad anything that would make him mad at Mom. If I did, then he would tell Mom and then she would get mad at me. Plus, I didn't want to hurt herfeelings too. She's just mad right now because she thinks I love Felicity too much. I can fix that. I just need to not talk about Felicity to her anymore. Then she won't worry about it and won't be mad at me.
I watched the cursor blink. I didn't know what to say. I think I started and stopped different versions like ten times before I actually decided what to say. Hands shaking, I sent the following:
To: Dad ([email protected])
From: Macy ([email protected])
Subject: Video
Hi Dad,
I’m super sorry I didn’t send the video yet. I still want to…I just didn’t get the chance tonight. I was trying to think of the right words and how to say stuff the way I mean it. I want her to know I’m really sorry, and that I care about her a lot. Could you tell her for now? Just til I send the video, okay?
Oh – and please tell her that I didn’t forget. And that I meant everything we planned. I hope she liked the flowers.
I’ll try to do something tomorrow if I can.
Love,
Macy
I read it over and over again and clicked send. I closed out my email after making sure I signed out.Should I delete my browser history?I decided to do it—just in case. Then I closed everything down and turned the computer off. I didn't wantMom to see that I had gone online since she told me to stay in my room. What if he didn't check his email today? My stomach felt weird and nervous. I didn't like feeling this way.
Maybe I should make Mom breakfast in the morning to make it up to her. I don't want her to be mad. Is Mom right? Do I care about Felicity too much?
