Page 75 of The Gathered Fragments of Us
I watched Macy in the rearview mirror as we drove through town. She'd gone silent for a bit. Felicity had given Macy her phone so she could watch a show while we drove. I'd catch her looking out the window at times—with an expression I couldn't quite read. I'm sure there was a lot going through her head. Need to get that therapist scheduled ASAP.
At CVS, I would have left my girls in the car, but Macy wanted to come in. Felicity and she wandered around, filling their basket with everything from snacks to nail polish to markers to decorate her cast. I waited in line for prescriptions.
Finishing up, we all climbed back into the car—me with a small brown bag of prescriptions, them with three giant bags of I-don't-know-what. The girls were chattering away talking about colors for toes and nails or some such thing, and I had this feeling of calm wash over me. It's going to take a lot of work, but we're going to be okay. I'll make sure of it.
Walking into the house, the quiet came with the reminders of our rush out the door. The empty caramel corn bag still sat on the kitchen table. Our coffee cups with the dregs of coffee were on the counter. The lights were still on in the kitchen. You could tell we left in a hurry, but it was good to be back home.
I turned to Macy, and said "why don't you head upstairs, and get settled. I want to grab a shower and then I can make all of us something to eat. Sound good?"
"That sounds good. Thanks dad."
Felicity responded, "Ugh, I need a shower too."
"Okay, how about this—you grab the first shower. I'll get lunch started. Then we can tag team?"
"That's perfect," she leaned forward and in for a kiss. I deepened it, enjoying holding my wife close and just being with her. "It's a good thing we both smell otherwise I'd have to tell you that you smell ripe."
"Ha!" I swatted her ass while she walked away laughing. "Roses, Felicity! I smell like roses."
Her laughter followed her up the stairs, "sure! Keep telling yourself that!"
I thought back to that night when I watched her walk up the stairs after our argument about the purse. It resonated with me what a different feeling it was today, even after how tumultuous the last few days have been, the sense of belonging and rightness was a major juxtaposition of the sense of dread I had that night.
Feeling content, I turned to start prepping some lunch. Grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches were definitely called for.
I was still processing everything when I heard Felicity's footsteps on the stairs. She appeared in the kitchen doorway, hair damp from her shower, wearing comfortable clothes and looking more relaxed than she had in days.
"Macy fell asleep," she said softly, coming over to sit beside me on the couch. "Poor thing was exhausted. Probably the adrenaline wearing off—she's been through so much."
"Good. She needs the rest."
I put my arm around Felicity and pulled her close.
"Gross, you still smell! Go shower." She laughed.
I sat forward, elbows on my knees—sighing loudly.
"Hey—I'm sorry—I was just teasing," she said while rubbing my back.
I grabbed her hand and held it. "No, it's not that. I know you're teasing—and I do actually smell." I smiled.
Felicity leaned back against the couch cushions. "Hey—so, you know we will need to go to Jessica's house and get some of Macy's things. Her school stuff, most of her clothes and—well, pretty much everything that she needs is there."
"Shit. I didn't think about that. I'll call Brad in a bit and see if it's okay for us to come and gather Macy's things." I looked toward the stairs, where Macy was sleeping peacefully for the first time in days. "Whatever we do, I know I want to do everything I can to protect you and Macy. Everything else, we'll figure out.
"All right—go shower and I'll finish lunch."
I reached for my wife, ignoring her laughing protests about my B.O., and pulled her in close. I held her and kissed her deeply—passionately. Pulling back, seeing that dazed look in her eyes—knowing the same was reflected in my own, I felt grounded. "I love you."
"I love you too. Now go wash up."
I laughed and headed upstairs; running the list of things to do through my head as I climbed.
Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, I walked past Macy's room. I doubled back, peeking through the door she'd left cracked open. She usually closed it if she was in her room, but I'm guessing she wasn't quite ready to be all alone. I don't think I was either.
I thought of when she was just a baby—her first smile, first laugh, first uncontrollable giggle. I remember her first big fall when she tumbled from her bike and scraped up the whole sideof her leg. I thought back to when she was little, how she was so young when we got divorced and then later, when I met Felicity.
For as long as she could remember, Macy has always lived in two places. Being full time with Felicity and me is probably going to be a major adjustment. With one last look at my daughter's face, expression soft with sleep, and relief from the last twenty-four hours, I turned and continued on.
