Page 86 of The Gathered Fragments of Us
"Just outside into the back yard."
I was confused, "the yard? What did you do?"
Smiling, he said, "you'll see soon enough."
Huffing, I did as he suggested, and threw on some tennis shoes.
"Okay, I'm ready," I told him, heart beating a mile a minute.
I padded out of our room, Caden following. I felt his hand at the small of my back. We walked past Macy's door, still slightly ajar from the night. I peeked in just to check, and saw she was still knocked out. Looking at my watch, I saw it was only 8:30a.m. She's almost twelve and isn't in school this week, my guess is she will be sleeping for a few more hours—if her weekend sleep schedule—and the week she's had—is any indication.
I clicked her door closed just to make sure we didn't wake her with any of our movements.
At the bottom of the stairs, I turned away from the kitchen, heading to the back door of the house. I looked longingly back at the kitchen—where my coffee would be. Feeling Caden slip his hand in mine, I turned my head up toward him and met his eyes. He leaned forward and said, "Coffee in a few minutes, I promise."
I grumbled, "okay, but I'm holding you to it."
"Hold away."
He pulled me toward the back door. Through the glass, I could see a couple of guys cleaning some things up—a tarp, some burlap netting, a shovel, and a few other items. I looked back at Caden, with a knowing smile, he told me to open the door and head outside.
At the entrance of the garden stood my brother-in-law Cash, and a few other guys in jeans and t-shirts. Everyone was staring at me, and, after a moment, I saw why. I had what I feel is a pretty large garden, fairly nondescript though. It's off to the side of my yard but runs the entire length—so around fifteen feet deep and forty feet long.
There's a bench off to the side when you walk in, and a dirt path that takes you from the entry down the middle all the way to the end. I plant everything from lavender to basil, cucumbers to eggplant. I thought it would be terribly overgrown since I haven't tended to it in over a week now, but it looked like someone had been caring for it, pulling weeds and watering—I glanced at Caden, thinking it must have been him.
Looking back over, I saw that at each end of the garden sat two newly planted trees—stakes holding them up, so the trunksremained straight, each about 6 feet tall. There was red mulch covering the ground around both and probably about thirty feet or so between them.
My breath caught. These weren't just any trees hastily picked up from a nursery. This was well planned—from the matching trees, and their placement, to their meaning.
Confused, I looked to Caden.
He looked over at the trees, but spoke to me. "Did you know that the gift for a fourth anniversary is fruit or flowers?" he asked.
I shook my head—I hadn't.
"Three years ago, I missed our fourth anniversary. I was so focused on what was going on at work, that I lost sight of celebrating us on that night. When I cancelled, I didn't explain what was going on, and then I failed to focus back on you and our life together."
"Okay…" I said, waiting for the explanation, because he wasn't saying anything I didn't already know.
"I did some research, and I learned that the sweet cherry tree symbolizes renewal and love."
I whipped my head toward the trees, noticing then that the yard had emptied of everyone by Caden and me. I eyed the trees, seeing for the first time what they were—young cherry trees.
"Eventually, these trees will give both flowers and fruit every year. And for each year that passes, they will grow stronger—their roots deeper." He paused, turning his head to look down at me, love very clear in his eyes. He said quietly, but meaningfully, "The cherry tree is also said to represent new beginnings."
With those last words, I could feel his eyes boring into my soul.
He shifting his body to face me. "Felicity Barrett, I am so far from perfect that I'm almost in another solar system. I have messed up so much in our marriage and I know without a doubt, that I am so deeply unworthy of you. I cannot promise you perfection, but I can promise you that I will work every day for the rest of our lives to keep our roots growing deeper and our marriage growing stronger."
He placed his hands on either side of my face, and said, "I'm not asking for you to forgive me and merely give me a second chance. I'm asking for just one day at a time from you, and I swear that by the end of every day I will have shown you my love, and at the beginning of the next day I will begin the work on earning your love again. Every day another chance of loving you, for the rest of our lives—this is my promise to you. Just give me one day at a time—and I will give you the rest of my life."
By this time, I was sobbing. So much anger and so much resentment had been filling the corners of my heart. With those words, it felt like he was stitching something back together—just one stitch, but it felt like it would hold.
I whispered to him, nodding, "you can have one day." By the time I finished the sentence, he had already leaned in to nuzzle his face against mine, pulling my body in close to his, I could feel his desperation to hold me closer than he ever had before.
I heard him whisper, "you think the trees are nice, just wait 'til tomorrow."
Chapter 34: A New Light
