Page 61 of The Merman's Betrothal
Rory gasped, knocked back by an invisible force. ‘The fu—’
‘This is me,’ Fionn said, trying to sound encouraging. ‘You can look at any piece of me you like. So you understand we are equal, and I do not have some power over you that you do not have over me.’
Fionn squared his shoulders proudly, sure thatthis,finally, might be the gesture that brought Rory closer to him. Rory would see what it could feel like to be held fast by Fionn’s strength and conviction. That he wouldn’t need to feel so anxious with Fionn providing a rock in his troubled current.
Hesitantly, Rory dipped his metaphorical toes in. Fionn closed his eyes and sensed Rory probing their soul bond.
There, Fionn sent forth a great swell of noble purpose, so Rory would see how wholeheartedly Fionn wished to serve his kingdom. Then a wave of courage, backed up by his martial skill and hunting prowess. Then a ripple of disillusionment, buoyed by his vast collection of disappointments to the people around him, like how he’d ruined things with Neacel.
Fionn’s eyes snapped open. ‘Wait—’
Dread rose in his chest as other truths surfaced in the current. Flashes of intense loneliness. The great weight of royal responsibility that in equal parts lifted him and crushed him. The constant striving for achievement, improvement, fulfillment—and of still never quite measuring up to the person, the warrior, the prince, he thought he was supposed to be.
His utter failure in allowing Rory to see this part of him.
Fionn hastily pulled away, pouring defensive distance into the bond.
Rory shook his head, flinging droplets from his hair. ‘Jesus. That was one hell of a brain bath.’
‘I am sorry to have burdened you,’ Fionn said stiffly. He was humiliated. How weak Rory must think he was.
‘Don’t be. We’ve all got our baggage. At least yours is some meaningful shit.’ Rory’s fingers hovered around his closed gills. He seemed to be thinking out loud. ‘You’re an actual prince. With a whole kingdom and responsibilities and all that. I’m just a fisherman who doesn’t want to be a fisherman. I guess I’ve got my wish.’
He trailed off, looking down at his reflection while silently treading water in the calm waves.
Just a fisherman? Was that all Rory saw in himself?
For a moment Fionn’s own worries dropped away.
‘You are notjust a fisherman,Rory Douglas,’ Fionn announced imperiously, startling Rory out of his reverie. ‘You are a lobster guardian and reef adventurer. Seal friend and turtle saviour.’
For some reason, Rory laughed. ‘Christ, you’re weird.’
Fionn didn’t see what was funny or weird about it. He was only listing facts, and carried on earnestly. ‘I have seen that you are a man of duty and determination. A man with admirably strong resolve, especially if your rejection of our bond is any indication.’
‘Duty… Ha.’
They had continued to drift on the current and were now nearly a hundred yards from the beach. Rory turned his gaze to the buildings of Ullapool. Its inhabitants were likely wakingup for the day. Fionn gleaned from the soul bond that Rory’s thoughts were on someone in the town.
‘You mentioned your father before,’ Fionn said tentatively. ‘That he is the reason you never returned to the great reef.’
‘I… Yeah. I wanted to leave Ullapool, once. To go far away. To learn and travel. Ultimately do something worthwhile in the world.’
‘How did he stop you?’
‘Have you ever…’ Rory closed his eyes. ‘Have you ever had someone you love, despite them giving you every reason not to love them… Have you ever had them look at you like you’ve let them down so completely, soirrefutablyby merely existing, that you spend the rest of your life trying to make up for it?’
Without meaning to, Fionn gasped. It was like Rory had shot a barb into his heart, resonating with all the stony stares of the Blue King.
It twanged across the soul bond, causing Rory’s eyes to snap open and meet Fionn’s.
‘I do,’ Fionn murmured, a little breathless. He closed the gap between them, taking hold of Rory’s shoulders. Rory didn’t shrink away. ‘I do know, and I understand the awful limbo of living in that shadow.’
Treading water, it was easier to sink to meet Rory’s eyeline. Fionn noticed the way Rory’s gaze dropped to his lips before dancing back up again.
To his surprise, Rory bumped his forehead gently to Fionn’s.
‘That’s how it’s been ever since my mum died. I was only five, right? I don’t even remember her much.’ Rory spoke so quietly Fionn had to strain to hear him. Like these were words that Rory almost daren’t admit. ‘It was like it was my fault. Suddenly he looked at me like I could never fill the hole that she’d left.’
