Page 16 of Like A Daydream
Danielle forces herself to watch as they lower the caskets and cover them with dirt. Her arms are tired from holding Harper, but she can’t leave until she knows it’s over. Can’t say a proper goodbye when everyone is still there.
Erick comes over and takes Harper from her gently. “I’ll get her to your mom.”
“Thank you,” Danielle says, giving him a brave smile. “I think my mom and dad are going to take her to get ice cream while we finish up at the lawyer’s office.”
“My parents aren’t going to go down without a fight,” Erick says with a sad smile.
“I know, but the paper is in Emerson’s writing, notarized, and has her and Jack’s signature on it. I don’t think they’re going to be able to do too much.”
“We’ll see. You know how they are.”
“I know exactly how scary they can be,” Danielle says, “my parents used to run in their circle.”
When Erick leaves, Danielle is finally alone, and the dirt is covering both of their graves.
“We were supposed to have so much time,” she whispers to the dirt. “How dare you leave me like this?”
She crouches down, not caring that her dress will get muddy. Runs her fingers through the soft, cool earth.
“I’ll take care of Harper,” she says, “I promise. I’ll probably make a lot of mistakes, but I’ll do my best.”
She reaches behind her neck and unhooks her necklace before standing up. She can remember Emerson buying it for her one summer at a craft fair. Danielle had laughed and said that people were going to think they were a couple if they had matching necklaces but Emerson had bought it for her, anyway.
It was a small, silver lily on a dainty chain that Danielle couldn’t believe hadn’t snapped in the years she’d worn it without taking it off.
She digs down into the fresh earth and drops the necklace in the hole, covers it again before standing. In a hundred years, maybe someone will find it with a metal detector, or the earth will have eroded away and uncovered it. For now, she’s leaving the final piece of her heart with her friends.
“I love you so much, Em,” she says, wiping her eyes. “It’s not going to be the same here without you.”
Danielle’s parents take Harper out for ice cream while she drives to the lawyer’s office and tries to pull herself into some semblance of together as she parks. She doesn’t think she can take another loss.
Game face on, head first, can’t lose.
This is about Harper and what’s best for her. Not what’s best for Danielle, or Erick, or to protect her heart from losing someone else she loves dearly.
It’s better for Harper to stay in a place she knows, with people she knows. Taking her away would only make this harder on her.
Erick is waiting for her outside. The sun is shining, there’s a nice breeze, and it’s the exact opposite of what she’s feeling as she gets out of her car. She grabs the envelope containing her guardianship papers, holding it with a vice-grip at her side.
“Hey,” Erick greets when she reaches him. His eyes are red-rimmed, his shoulders sagging, but he gives her a watery smile. “Everyone is already inside.”
“Are you ready to watch four grown adults lose their minds?”
“Always,” Erick says. “Especiallythesefour grown adults.”
She hooks an arm around his waist and he throws his around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. “If you want my opinion, there’s no one better suited for Harper than you.”
“Not sure your opinion is going to matter much, but I appreciate the thought,” she says, half-smiling in return. “Let’s get this over with.”
He nods, and they walk inside together.
The office is cozy, deep reds and beiges, plush carpets and oak furniture. It’s a family firm, has been since the seventies, and it’s nothing like the corporate offices that have been made so popular from television. It’s comforting, it’s homey, and it feels safe to be there.
Jack and Emerson’s parents are already seated at a long table in a conference room, lawyer standing at the head waiting for them. Everyone is still dressed in their funeral attire; Emerson’s mom is dabbing at her eyes with a tissue and clutching their dad’s hand. Jack’s parents are sitting, stoic, staring down at the wood surface of the table.
It’s strange that a man, so mischievous and full of love to give, came from these two. If Danielle hadn’t known them, she would have thought their attitudes were a result of grief. Stoicism is their nature, burying all of their emotions somewhere in their stomachs and then one day, they’ll die without having the courage to feel.
“Well,” the lawyer says, adjusting his suit, “now that we’re all here, I’d like to start by saying that I’m very sorry for your losses. It’s not an easy thing, to lose a loved one. Or a child, for that matter.”
