Page 11 of Defined and Defiled
“Ms. Sumner! Ms. Sumner!” Hope waves both of her hands as she tries to get my attention. I give her a moment before she settles down.
“Yes, Hope.”
“Avery said her class was able to get a class pet. Can we get one?”
I could kill Tony. When the Great Basin Spadefoot Museum had reached out to us about bringing some toads into the classroom as a learning tool, we had both decided against it. Troy didn’t think it made sense to bring a toad into the classroom when our mascot is the frog, and I didn’t want to admit to my class that I actually am quite afraid of small things that jump at you. Cursed books? No big deal. Anoverexcited grasshopper? You might hear my scream all the way in Area 51.
"Unfortunately, we were not selected for the program this year." I don't make it a habit of lying to my students, but it is a good skill to have in the toolbox. Hope looks put out and raises her hand again, but I turn around to face the board.
Once the kids are busy with their warm-up question for today, I sneak a peek at Richard. When I flip him over, it almost looks like he's sleeping again. His eyes are scrunched shut, and it looks like he's holding his breath.
"What are you doing?" I whisper to him.
Jaxon looks up at me from the front row of desks, but goes back to his work when he realizes the question is not for him.
Richard opens one eye. "I was trying to see if I could disappear. I don't want the kids to see me and get frightened."
I smile back at him, “They might just think you're a new tablet or something, honestly.”
“A tablet? Why would they think that?” He looks concerned.
“Ms. Sumner! Are you done talking to yourself? I have a question!” Hope yells out.
“I don't hear questions that don't have hands, Hope.” I bring my attention back to the classroom.
Hope raises her hand and keeps talking, “I texted Avery, and she said that Katie told her all the teachers could get toads if they wanted to.”
“You texted Avery just now?”
“Yes and-”
I open my hand for Hope's phone. She shrinks back before walking up to the desk and handing it to me. The bubbly green case with the giant sparkly frog sticker on the back tells me I won't be winning this argument anytime soon.
“After recess.” I slid the phone into my desk drawer. Richard jumps at the slam of the drawer as it closes, and Hope notices.
She raises one hand and points at my desk with the other. “What was that?”
Before I can come up with a reasonable excuse, Richard's 'S' starts to glow.
I hear a 'holy shit' from the back of the class, followed swiftly by a 'Sorry Ms. Sumner' as Richard starts to float.
“Hello, class! Ms. Sumner was going to surprise you, but instead of a class pet, you all got a class helper. You can call me Mr. Richard.”
I am once again flashing back to visions of educator jail, now with 30% more frog mascots. They'll throw me away and lock the key, and I'll be forced to carve my way out with number 2 pencils.
“But what do you do?”
“Do you have any games?”
The kids all talk over each other as Richard floats around the classroom.
Katie, a small girl with glasses that magnify her eyes to cartoonish levels raises her hand.
“Mr. Richard, what does a class helper do?”
Richard looks at me, and I shrug. It was his idea, he can explain it. He clears his throat and opens his pages, “I am a dictionary. I can help you find anyword you need. And I was a teacher once, so I can answer other questions as well.”
“He's also full of 90's references if you have any need for those.” I tease.
