Page 4 of Defined and Defiled
“I don't want anyone to know we've been here, do you? If I fix this, then there's no evidence.” I lean into him, the bulky book the only thing between us. “It can stay our little secret.”
I'm close enough that I can hear the sound of Mike's gulp before he nods.
“Okay.”
2
To-do List:
Renew Library Holds
I get to my car with my bag full of stolen goods and a raincheck for Mike's date. My drive home ritual is sacred. In fact, it is the second-best part of my day. It allows me to see the school in my rearview and think about all I need to do for the next day. My AC stopped working last fall, so it's windows down until the foreseeable future. Maybe even forever, since the windows no longer roll up either. Once the cardigan is off and the audiobook is on, I'm no longer Ms. Sumner, fifth-grade teacher and spelling bee enthusiast. I'm Shirley, your typical Type-B disaster.
It seems impossible for me to function if the audiobook isn't at two-times speed. Once you go double, there's no going back. Everything else sounds like they're talking underwater now. I have been waiting all day to get back here, to where the elf is about to ravish the spunky human for the first time. It may not be the wisest decision to listen to smut with thewindows down, but wise decisions stop at the last bell.
His hands grasped her thick thighs, roaming slowly up her leg until he reached his prize. He knew this moment would be it. There would be no going back once he had a taste of her sweet pussy. He would never be able to think of anything after he's heard how she whimpered for his thick, hard-
A long, drawn out ‘Damm’ interrupts the Prince of Darkness's monologue. I've listened to this audiobook at least three times and I know it's not a full cast. I also cannot imagine our sweet protagonist being portrayed with such a deep voice. I turn down the volume and look out the window. There are no cars anywhere close enough to me.
The town actually seems pretty quiet, the only person visible is an old man sitting on his porch. I wave at him and turn the book back up a few notches. Surely, you don't live that long without hearing the word 'cock' a few times.
He had been right. He would do anything to keep her wrapped around him like this. Histeeth digging into her neck, her blood pumping into his mouth as he pumped into her. Slow and sure. It was the only way to make sure she would shut up and take him like the good, little witch she was.
“Damn!”
There it goes again. Someone has definitely commented over my book. It takes a moment to find my phone. My passenger seat is full of a finely crafted sculpture of loose papers, my laptop bag, and an uncomfortable amount of old fast food wrappers. Navigating the pile to find my phone where it's inevitably fallen while driving without knocking it all the floor is a skill I've yet to master. I prop my knee onto the steering wheel so I could reach further down, sending the precarious tower to the floorboard.
“You should probably keep your eyes on the road.” A voice mutters near my ear, but the only thing not currently on my floor is the dictionary.
“What?” I look down and holy sheets, there's a floating face inside the dictionary.
I'm not sure which of us was the first to scream. My knee slips off the wheel and I rush to grab it, but my eyes stay on the book.
“Watch out!” he screams.
There had been reporting of Sheet-y Stationery moving around but it had never been a problem for me. A building suddenly being in the middle of the road is now a very, huge problem.
“Fu-”
3
Accident (n.)
ac·ci·dent :an unfortunate event resulting especially from carelessness or ignorance
It says a lot about the Ghostlight Falls paramedics that 'I crashed my car because my dictionary started talking to me' only gets me a warning and a referral to the mechanics. It also says a lot about my car that it's almost impossible to tell the new scratches from the old. The tree I crashed into got the worst of it. My mental to-do list grows as I add 'visit the Mechanics' and 'donate to a tree planting foundation' to the bottom of the list. At this point I need to send Eli a Christmas card. I've seen him more than my family this year. Maybe I should also ask him how long I can keep going with the 'check engine' light on.
“Are you okay?” I whisper to the book that is now face down on my car floor.
A muffled reply comes from the cover. I steel myself before flipping it over. Yep, there is still a floating head in my dictionary.
“Can you repeat that?”
“I said, do you have a personal vendetta against me or is this more of an Urkel situation?”
He flutters his torn page at me. It's quite cute, even though his stern expression tells me it shouldn't be.
“Did I do that?” I try but he remains unamused. “To be fair, I didn't know you were alive.”
